Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

Relieved him with such sudden glee As to upset his cup of tea. Also he found inconvenient When urchins shouted “ Good old stand ! ” When at a dance, the matrons lenient Would cough and smile behind a hand. And maidens with gazelle-like eyes Observe with wondering surprise. Besides, an everlasting aching Kept him for ever on the shove. At lunch or tea, asleep or waking, He felt the gentle hints of love. A parson too (O who could doubt it ?) Is best without it. When he began to read the text Preparatory to his sermon ’Twould rise, and he, beginning vexed, Would end by sundry oaths in German, Whose tendency to edification Was not clear to his congregation. By day, by night, eternal stands ! One long continuous emission — He left his cure in other hands And sought his cure of a physician, Who marvelled at his tale of tooling As at a pretty piece of fooling. But, soon convinced, he diagnosed This case as clearly as could be ; “ You suffer, sir (no, be composed !) From a mistaken chastity. Indulge your natural desires And quench those fires ! ” [94]