Diary of a Drug Fiend

- 336 The Diary of a Drug Fiend things out of heroin which I should never have got otherwise. 8. It is dangerous to stop too suddenly. g. I'd better take a small dose now rather than put it off till later; because if I do so, it will disturb my sleep. 10. It is really very bad for the mind to be constantly preoccupied with the question of the drug. It is better to take a small dose to rid myself of the obsession. 11. I am worried about the drug because of my not having any. If I were to take some, my mind would clear up immediately, and I should be able to think out good plans for stopping it. 12. The gods may be leading me to some new ex- perience through taking it. 13. It is quite certainly a mistake putting down all little discomforts as results of taking it. Very likely, nearly all of them are illusions; the rest, due to the unwise use of it. I am simply scaring myself into saying “no.” 14. It is bad for me morally to say “no.” I must not be a coward about it. 15. There is no evidence at all that the reasonable use of heroin does not lengthen life. Chinese claim, and English physicians agree, that opium smoking, within limits, is a practice conducive to longevity. Why should it not be the same with heroin? It has been observed actually that addicts seem to be immune to most diseases which afflict ordinary people. 16. I take it because of its being prohibited. I decline being treated like a silly schooboy when I’m a responsible man. (Note: Then don’t behave like a silly school- boy. Why let the stupidity of governments drive you into taking the drug against your will ?—K. L.) 17. My friend likes me to take it with her. 18. My ability to take it shows my superiority over other people.