- 336 The Diary of a Drug Fiend
things out of heroin which I should never have got
otherwise.
8. It is dangerous to stop too suddenly.
g. I'd better take a small dose now rather than put
it off till later; because if I do so, it will disturb my
sleep.
10. It is really very bad for the mind to be constantly
preoccupied with the question of the drug. It is better
to take a small dose to rid myself of the obsession.
11. I am worried about the drug because of my not
having any. If I were to take some, my mind would
clear up immediately, and I should be able to think
out good plans for stopping it.
12. The gods may be leading me to some new ex-
perience through taking it.
13. It is quite certainly a mistake putting down all
little discomforts as results of taking it. Very likely,
nearly all of them are illusions; the rest, due to the
unwise use of it. I am simply scaring myself into
saying “no.”
14. It is bad for me morally to say “no.” I must not
be a coward about it.
15. There is no evidence at all that the reasonable
use of heroin does not lengthen life. Chinese claim,
and English physicians agree, that opium smoking,
within limits, is a practice conducive to longevity.
Why should it not be the same with heroin? It has
been observed actually that addicts seem to be immune
to most diseases which afflict ordinary people.
16. I take it because of its being prohibited. I
decline being treated like a silly schooboy when I’m
a responsible man.
(Note: Then don’t behave like a silly school-
boy. Why let the stupidity of governments
drive you into taking the drug against your
will ?—K. L.)
17. My friend likes me to take it with her.
18. My ability to take it shows my superiority over
other people.