Mortadello

OR, THE ANGEL OF VENICE 35 Be ruled, I pray you, pen these passions for your life ! Or you do violence to your own natures, soil The fiery quintessence, God’s spirit, in turmoil. Why do you rage, a sea of angry gentlemen, When you should bend the knee to Mortadello ? ALESSANDRO. Wen ! Blotch ! Bubo ! Spider ! Leech ! Crab-apple ! Wart ! Poor- john ! Carbuncle ! MONICA. Chasten speech ! [To MORTADELLO.] What grief’s his grievance on ? ALESSANDRO. Oh ! I’ve no special grudge against the filthy fellow, But if I were a judge, I’d shorten Mortadello ! MONICA. Oh ! he’s the best of men ! ALESSANDRO. To the manners of a flunkey He adds the brains of a hen, and the morals of a monkey. A pig is hardly as clean as he is, when he’s sober— Which never falls between November and October. For vermin he’s a rat, for greed a shark, for grace A duck, and lame at that, a mule for pride of race. The peacock’s vanity, the jackdaw’s perky pertness, The magpie’s honesty, the tortoise’s alertness ; An elephant for hide, a spaniel for servility, A cockatoo for pride, a sheep for imbecility, For chastity a goat, for reticence a starling, And, as for stink, a stoat—and there you are, my darling ! MONICA. My lord, you must forgive the youth—extravagant, He expends in foolish froth the truth, his soul is scant. [MORTADELLO signifies acquiescence by a nod Come, Alessandro, let me soothe this raving rant !