OR, THE ANGEL OF VENICE 
35 
 
Be ruled, I pray you, pen these passions for your life ! 
Or you do violence to your own natures, soil 
The fiery quintessence, God’s spirit, in turmoil. 
Why do you rage, a sea of angry gentlemen, 
When you should bend the knee to Mortadello ? 
ALESSANDRO. 
Wen ! 
Blotch !  Bubo !  Spider !  Leech !  Crab-apple !  Wart !  Poor-
john ! 
Carbuncle ! 
MONICA. 
Chasten speech ! 
 
[To MORTADELLO.]  What grief’s his grievance on ? 
ALESSANDRO.  Oh !  I’ve no special grudge against the filthy 
fellow, 
But if I were a judge, I’d shorten Mortadello ! 
MONICA.  Oh ! he’s the best of men ! 
ALESSANDRO. 
 
To the manners of a flunkey 
He adds the brains of a hen, and the morals of a monkey. 
A pig is hardly as clean as he is, when he’s sober— 
Which never falls between November and October. 
For vermin he’s a rat, for greed a shark, for grace 
A duck, and lame at that, a mule for pride of race. 
The peacock’s vanity, the jackdaw’s perky pertness, 
The magpie’s honesty, the tortoise’s alertness ; 
An elephant for hide, a spaniel for servility, 
A cockatoo for pride, a sheep for imbecility, 
For chastity a goat, for reticence a starling, 
And, as for stink, a stoat—and there you are, my darling ! 
MONICA.  My lord, you must forgive the youth—extravagant, 
He expends in foolish froth the truth, his soul is scant. 
 
[MORTADELLO signifies acquiescence by a nod 
Come, Alessandro, let me soothe this raving rant !