The Winged Beetle

184 MR TODD the English hypocrite ? Who was poor Uncle Henry ? Did you love poor Uncle Henry so dearly as all that ? How old were you when your father quarrelled with poor Uncle Henry ? About two and a half ! The only thing you know about poor Uncle Henry is that poor Uncle Henry once tickled your toes. [EUPHEMIA gives a little scream of horror.] Enough humbug about poor Uncle Henry ! . . . Sweetheart ! EUPHEMIA. Mine own ! [They embrace and kiss with great intensity. EUPHEMIA. Unhand me, villain ! . . . But one has to be decent about one’s relations. Even the humbug of it is rather fun. CARR. There speaks the daughter of Shakespeare’s country. I am sure the Bacon imbroglio was a con- summate practical joke on somebody’s part. As I see the joke, I take no side in the controversy ! But we should look on the bright side of things ! [Pompously.] Poor Uncle Henry, dead and turned to clay, May feed the Beans that keep the Bile away. Oh that whom all the world did once ignore Should purge a peer or ease an emperor ! EUPHEMIA. But where is the bright side of our love ? CARR. Why, our love ! EUPHEMIA. Cannot you, cannot you understand ? CARR. Not unless you tell me ! EUPHEMIA. I can’t tell you. CARR.—Anything I don’t know.