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MR TODD 
 
 
the English hypocrite ?  Who was poor Uncle Henry ?  
Did you love poor Uncle Henry so dearly as all that ?  
How old were you when your father quarrelled with poor 
Uncle Henry ?  About two and a half !  The only thing 
you know about poor Uncle Henry is that poor Uncle 
Henry once tickled your toes.  [EUPHEMIA gives a little 
scream of horror.] Enough humbug about poor Uncle 
Henry !  . . . Sweetheart !    
EUPHEMIA.  Mine own !    
[They embrace and kiss with great intensity.  
EUPHEMIA.  Unhand me, villain ! . . .  
But one has to be decent about one’s relations.  Even 
the humbug of it is rather fun.  
CARR.  There speaks the daughter of Shakespeare’s 
country.  I am sure the Bacon imbroglio was a con-
summate practical joke on somebody’s part.  As I see the 
joke, I take no side in the controversy !    
But we should look on the bright side of things !    
[Pompously.] 
Poor Uncle Henry, dead and turned to clay, 
May feed the Beans that keep the Bile away. 
Oh that whom all the world did once ignore 
Should purge a peer or ease an emperor !   
 
EUPHEMIA.  But where is the bright side of our love ?    
CARR.  Why, our love !    
EUPHEMIA.  Cannot you, cannot you understand ?    
CARR.  Not unless you tell me !    
EUPHEMIA.  I can’t tell you.  
CARR.—Anything I don’t know.