The Equinox (Volume III, Number I)

A MASTER OF THE TEMPLE I consider the above very bad; but the explanation is that this particular hour was a great ‘rush’ as I had to call at my brother’s Office, go home for lunch, do some shopping for lunch, and back again to eat same, also get shaved, in one hour. I evidently got flurried and lost control a bit. (Note the time when talking to my brother is doubtful, but have included it.) I think I should here note that on Saturday evening, Sunday and Monday I was quite aware of my task practi- cally all the time; even when I made mistakes, they were in almost every case caused through trying too hard. Probably, having got over a difficult bit of con- versation successfully, I was seduced into the error. Tuesday and to-day have been rather different. I have lapsed a little in vigilance, but attained a certain sub- conscious wariness. This makes conversation easier, but is not established enough to make me free from errors. In fact I am not sure if I am not getting more careless. . at 5.20 P.M. office. . at 8.30 P.M. to wife. . at 10 P.M. Singing. . 10,50. talking to wife. Total for day, 9. HHH Note. I felt terribly restless all the evening, and had an intense desire to talk freely. Went to a Smoking Concert at 8.45, but left again at 10.5, as I could not stand it any longer. I wanted to sing very much, and in fact did join in one song and made slip noted above. I find it very difficult to leave out a word throughout a song, even if singing with others. Thursday, Jan. 12, 7.35 P.M. Have felt much better to-day and had much more control so far. At 8.58 A.M. I recorded one failure, but this time not spoken audibly; the meaning however was in mind, so I count it. I was repeating the time after being told it by a friend, viz., one and a half minutes to nine. Again at 6.35 P.M. once, but also inaudible. I completed the day successfully with a total of 2 (inaudible). Friday, Jan. 13, 6.20 P.M. . during morning at office. . at 2.35 P.M. all inaudible. . at 4.30 P.M. . at 6.10 P.M. Aloud. HHH 141