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Page 73 of 781929 · PDF PAGE 339
…tan had just come to smash and even the journey to Fez was unsafe. Not that we should have cared: Coke was as brave as a lion about everything outside his dam and her devices; but the authorities would not hear of our leaving the city --- even the environs were beset by banditti. It was a great nuisance, especially as I had got ready for the desert by shaving my head and getting into my Eastern clothes. However, I consoled myself by making excursions after dark into the suburbs and courting all adventures that might come my way. I had in fact a…
1929 · PDF PAGE 345
…attitude that love must be resolutely torn from the throne in the human heart which it has usurped. One must not set one's affections on things below; one must find an answer to old age and death. "Only those are happy who have desired the unattainable." Love being the sublimation of the human ego, it follows that the ego itself must be surrendered. The limitations of life on earth are intolerable. The consciousness is unendurable for all those who have begun to understand the universe. Man is so infinitesimally inane, yet he feels himself capa…
1929 · PDF PAGE 152
…Yet Vendata is the fine flower of Hinduism, the sole solution of the problems presented by the crude animism of the Vedas. "And if these things are done in the green tree --- ?" I was being forced, without knowing it, towards Buddhism; my wish to see Allan again was doubtless due to this dilemma rather than to any instincts of friendship. As significant of the state of my soul, vague yet vehement, I may quote certain entries in my diary thus: Jan. 13. Early morning walk --- deep meditation. Developed a sort of inverted Manichaeism. Nature as ev…
1929 · PDF PAGE 24
…hloride explode at the first vibration. After several minor misadventures, I collect it over benzine --- about a quart --- and the whole thing exploded and nearly burnt the house down. I had also a plan for manufacturing diamonds. By various analogies I came to the conclusion that a true solution of carbon might be made in {62} iron and I proposed to crystallize it out in the regular way. The apparatus required was, however, hardly within the compass of a boy of fourteen and my diamonds are still theoretical. Talking of theory, I came to the co…
1929 · PDF PAGE 456
456 {721} one thing, all communications with the outer world were completely cut off for sometime. It had been arranged that I should receive a daily report from London from my secretary. None arrived for five days; and that although nothing had gone wrong in London. No explanation was ever forthcoming. This is one of the many incidents tending to similar conclusions, all explicable only on the theory that the natural energy, which is normally present and is necessary to the occurrence of certain types of event, had somehow been inhibited. The …
1929 · PDF PAGE 160
…dea is intelligently grasped, it ceases to threaten the mind with the terrors of the unknown. I went to Delhi on the sixteenth. The best thing here is the Turkish bath, where the process of purification is completed by charming ladies. On the eighteenth I wrote about Orpheus, "The accursed Book III utterly finished. Oh Book IV! On the nineteenth I went and saw the fort with "Major Graham, a prize fool from South Africa". The entry demands emendation. He wasn't a major; his name wasn't Graham; he had never been to South Africa; and he was anythi…
1929 · PDF PAGE 189
…ad told me about it. A little old woman is provoked to personal conflict by the Pride of England and it ends by his collapsing. The same thing had happened to Pfannl. They had the utmost difficulty to get him down to Camp 11. This misadventure lost us our last chance of making a dash for K2. There was one series of two fine days, the second of which could have been used by Knowles and myself if we had not {321} been obliged to superintend the caravan of invalids. From the sixteenth to the nineteenth was an almost continuous snowstorm. Pfannl wa…
1904 · PDF PAGE 7
…m y work : due doubtless to the frivolity of m y subject : these poems being written when I was an Advaitist and could not see why —everything being an illusion—there should be any particular object in doing or thinking any thing. How I have found the answer will be evident from my es say on the s ubject.* I m ust indeed apologise to the illustrious Shade of Robert Browning for m y audacious parody in title, style, and matter of his “Christmas Eve and Easter Day.” The more I read it the eventual anticlimax of that wonderful poem irritated me on…
1906 · PDF PAGE 66
…hrill voice rose in a great curse. The hoarse anger of drunken harlotry snarled back. ‘*Not a drop more,” shouted my friend, adding many things. It was time for my return. ‘“‘T will let them know,” I whispered. ‘* Good-bye.” ‘¢« There is not one thing with another; But Evil saith toGood: ‘‘ My brother—"’"’ 2 he went on unheeding. I left him to his peace. My re-appearance restored harmony. The 1 ‘*Glory to the Blessed One, the Perfected One, the Enlightened One.” It is the common Buddhist salute to their Master. 2 These quotations. are from Swin…
1929 · PDF PAGE 202
202 I went through life at this time with a kind of cynical bonhomie; nothing was really any particular good, so I might as well do what was expected of me. I wrote even of Buddhism with a certain detached disenchantment, as may be seen by reference to my Summa Spes, which I published separately (twelve copies contain the portrait of me by Haweis and Coles, subsequently reproduced in volume II of the vellum edition of my Collected Works) and sent to some of my friends in Paris on my departure for England. After Rodin, the most important of thes…
1929 · PDF PAGE 395
…the publication of the novel. I could not foresee the exact form which these various forces would manifest, but I understood the sort of thing I might expect. I decided to take the journey rather than wait for a time when a more encouraging symbol might be given. I felt that in the circumstances I had no right to expect anything better. The symbol promised success. I ought not to complain at paying its price. So much for what I can do. Now for what I can't. I used to test my methods by predicting the course of political and economic events. The…
1929 · PDF PAGE 82
…ing bogs and mist. This faculty is not only retrospective --- I can find my way infallibly over unknown country in any weather. The only thing that stops me is the interference of my conscious mind. I have several other savage faculties; in particular, I can smell snow and water, though for ordinary things my olfactory sense is far below the average. I cannot distinguish perfectly familiar perfumes in many cases; that is, I cannot connect them with their names. Eckenstein and I were both exceedingly expert at describing what lay {153} behind an…
1929 · PDF PAGE 119
…t seventy-five per cent. I picked up my winnings, walked out and have never gambled again; except once at Monte Carlo for the fun of the thing, some years later. I made it a rule to take five pounds to the casino and quit, when it was gone, for the day. As luck would have it, on the fourth day I kept on winning. I had an appointment for lunch. Remembering this, I {210} suddenly awoke to the fact that I had won over three hundred an fifty pounds. That was good enough for me. After lunch I packed up and escaped to Nice, with a vow never again to …
1929 · PDF PAGE 163
…son why". I said he had better talk to the leader of the expedition, Mr. Eckenstein. He assumed an awed expression, as if I had said something not quite nice. Knowles and I, who were sharing the same room, proceeded to dress with elegant leisure and bore our bewilderment to Eckenstein. At this point a telegram arrived, from which we inferred that the Indian Empire was somewhat imperilled by our conduct. At ten o'clock there arrived no less a person than the deputy commissioner of Rawalpindi; one of those strong silent men, with whom Mr. Henry S…
1929 · PDF PAGE 175
…ir structure that they were second rate. The valley is wholly bare of verdure except for plantations, as throughout Baltistan. The first thing to meet our eyes was what, suppose we had landed in the country of Brobdignag, only more, so, might have been the lace handkerchief of a Super-Glumdalclitch left out to dry. It was a glittering veil of brilliance of the hillside; but closer inspection, instead of destroying the illusion, made one exclaim with increased enthusiasm. The curtain had been formed by crystalline deposits from a hot spring (38.…
1929 · PDF PAGE 217
…Lobatchewsky. So much for July. But early in August, Gerald Kelly wrote suggesting that I should join his party at Strathpeffer. I had nothing better to do. Red-headed Arabella was still in Edinburgh; I was being bored to death, either by my meditation or by my inability to rouse myself to the point of doing any. So I packed a bag and went over. The party consisted principally of Kelly's mother, who worthily preserved the conditions of Tennysonian dignity; Rose, who was in a curious state of excitement, which I either failed to observe at all, …
1905 · PDF PAGE 231
… any particular system in their sublime search for the Eternal and the Real. Under these circumstances I have not scrupled to subvert anything that appeared to me to need subverting in the interests, always identical, of beauty and of truth. Anachronism may be found piled upon anachronism, and symbolism mixed with symbolism. In one direction I have restrained myself. Nowhere does Tannhiuser refer to the Vedas and Shastras? or to the Dhamma® of that blameless hypochondriac, Gotama Buddha. I take all the blame for so important an omission, not wi…
1929 · PDF PAGE 247
…e market place that it is an offence to their purity. I have never been able to comply with these foully perverse conventions. I face anything frankly and the phantasm fades. I do not permit any author to play on my passions. I read a book with my soul, and only those books appeal to me whose authors speak sincerely and sanely such truth as has been given them. I utterly loathe the author who practises on popular psychology. The sentimentalism of Charles Dickens, the eroticism of D. H. Lawrence, the pornographic religiosity of Mrs. Humphry Ward…
1929 · PDF PAGE 403
…s and therefore he must be guilty. I had found it much the same with myself. Nobody seemed to care whether I had or had not done various things which anyone might be expected to do, but nobody seemed to entertain a doubt of my having done things impossible in nature. Nobody troubled to find out the facts about the simplest matters. People printed falsehoods about my family, my fortune, the best-known events of my life. There was no attempt to be consistent or probable. To edit a newspaper while undergoing penal servitude seemed to strike nobody…
1929 · PDF PAGE 530
…after year on the basis of this theory. My life, interpreted by it, is intelligible, and when guided by it, successful. Whenever I do anything reasonable I come a cropper, and if I were to attempt to explain the events of my career in any other way, I should be confronted by a piled chaos of utterly unintelligible absurdities. The sale of The International left me stranded. War hysteria had reached its height. The British would not employ me, failing to understand or to trust. The Department of Justice, though warmly appreciative of my work, di…