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Page 1 of 61922 · PDF PAGE 225
… “ Every step he treads is smeared with blood,” as Gretel once said. Yes, in some infernal way he had made me one of his victims. ‘‘ All right—you shall get enough magical diary to let you know that I’m out of your clutches— I’ll put down just those things which will tell you how I hate you—how I have outwitted you—and you shall read them when my Dead Soul has got a Dead Body to match it.” September 14 I expected Peter would be in; impatient to know if I'd wangled McCall. Instead, he turned up after twelve, full of champagne and—SNOW! My aunt, …
1922 · PDF PAGE 31
…sed by the man’s mere presence. I looked up. Yes, I could understand well enough the change in the weather. Owen was saying— “That’s all right, that’s all right, that’s exactly what I do. You come and see my new group. I'll do another sketch of you—-same day, same time. That’s all right.” Somebody introduced the new-comer—Mr. King Lamus—and murmured our names. “ Sit down right here,” said Owen, ‘‘ what you need is a drink. I know you perfectly well; I’ve known you for years and years and years, and I know you've done a good day’s work, and you'…
1922 · PDF PAGE 351
…d my interest in them. 21. Heroin has removed my desire for liquor. If I must choose, I really think heroin is the better. 22. Man has a right to spiritual ambition. He has evolved to what he is, through making dangerous experiments. Heroin certainly helps me to obtain a new spiritual outlook on the world. I have no right to assume that the ruin of bodily health is injurious ; and ‘‘ whosoever will save his life shall lose it, but whoever loseth his life for My sake shall find it.” 23. So-and-so has taken it for years, and is all right. 24. So-…
1922 · PDF PAGE 99
…uld have been embarrassed by so direct a compliment from a man who was so evidently in the know, a man who was holding his own with the brightest minds all over the world. But in my present mood I took it as perfectly natural. Lou laughed in my ear. ‘ That’s right, Cockie, dear,” she chirruped. ‘“ This is where you go right in and win. I’ve really got to have those pearls, you know.” _ “She’s quite right,’ agreed Feccles. “‘ When you're through with this honeymoon, come round with me, and we'll take our coats off and get into the game for all w…
1922 · PDF PAGE 330
…acockry to lilacs and deep purples. Ever-changing patches of colour wandered about the surface in kaleidoscopic fantasy. A little to the right again, the limitless prospect of water was cut off by a precipitous cliff crowned by the ruins of a church, and up again to the right, the sheer crag reared its perpendicular terror to the sky- line ; a jagged line of quaintly carven pinnacle. Beyond these the slope suddenly eased off, and thence the rock took a final leap to its summit on which stood the remains of ancient Grecian temples. With even gre…
1922 · PDF PAGE 130
…urning to me in a sort of limp, helpless protest, imploring me to put my foot down about it. So I said, ‘“‘ Feccles, old top, you’re the right sort. I always liked you at school, and I shall never forget what you've done for me these last thirty or forty years or whatever it is we've been in Capri, and Lloyd George can trust you to nip that blighter you're after, why shouldn’t I trust you to see us through this fun at the Gatto Fritto? ” Lou clapped her hands, screaming with merriment, but Feccles said :— “Now, that’s all right. But this is a v…
1922 · PDF PAGE 233
Towards Madness 219 I made him take two or three sniffs of snow. That put him right, and now he’s gone off to the inn. I’m very glad to be alone. I always felt those servants were spying. The house is delightfully quiet. As I write there are two beautiful people looking over my shoulder. They have been sent to watch over me and guide me, and prepare me for the great destiny which is in store for me. Here comes Peter with the waiter and a tray. I must hide this book. The secrets of the spiritual life must be kept from the profane. It’s all right…
1922 · PDF PAGE 108
…ang back. If you start to do a thing, you'd much better do it. What’s that fellow say? “T do not set my life at a pin’s fee.” That’s the right spirit. ‘‘ Unhand me, gentlemen, I'll make a ghost of him that lets me.” That’s the Pendragon spirit, and that’s the flying man’s spirit. Get to the top and stay at the top and shoot the other man down |!
1922 · PDF PAGE 206
…s that he was ill; that it was my duty to nurse him. I tried to go to the door to get help. He thought I was escaping, and flung me back right across the room on to the bed, howling with rage. “You can get away with it at once,” he said, “ but that’s enough. You wait right here, and see whether Mr. Bloody King Lamus will come to fetch you. Don’t fret ; I expect he will. He likes dirt, the filthy beast ! ” I burst out crying. The contrast between the two men was too shocking. And I belonged to this screaming swearing bully with his insane jealou…
1922 · PDF PAGE 228
…ew. There was a big alabaster statue of Ganesha, the elephant god. “This is the place,” I said, “to get hold of the devil.” “ That’s all right,’”’ said Cockie, “‘ but what about a little she-devil for me?” “Oh,” I said, “ if I’m not satisfactory, you’d better give me a week’s salary in lieu of notice.” We laughed like mad. Something in the room made our heads swim. We began kissing and wrestling. It’s all very well to laugh at magic, but after all certain ideas do belong to certain things; and you can get an idea going, if you're reminded of it…
1922 · PDF PAGE 310
…ous I feel; but I hope there is nothing really wrong. I’ll look in late this afternoon with Mr. Platt for news; and if everything Is all right—I won’t allow myself to think that it can be otherwise—we can make an appointment for the morning over our business affairs. Don’t let’s lose any time.” I shook hands hastily and slipped my hand into Maisie’s arm. She ran downstairs with me, leaving the others to wait for the lift.
1922 · PDF PAGE 137
…ted the remark with almost insane intensity. To hell with the fellow ! He noticed it at once, and leered with a horrible chuckle. ‘‘ All right, mister,’’ he said. “ No offence meant,” and he threw an arm round Lou’s neck, and made a movement to kiss her. I was on my feet in a second, and swung my right to his jaw. It knocked him off the bench, and he lay flat. | In a moment the uproar began. All my old fighting instincts flashed to the surface. I realised instantly that we were in for the very row that Feccles had so wisely warned us to avoid. …
1922 · PDF PAGE 114
…sense of absolute bewilderment and helplessness came over me. “TI say, Lou,’ I stammered, “I wish you'd count this. I can’t make it come right. I think I must have been going a bit too hard.” She went through the various pockets of my porte- feuille. ‘““Haven’t you some money in your pocket?” she said. I went through myself with sudden anxiety. I had money in nearly every pocket ; but it only amounted to so much small change. A thousand francs here and a hundred francs there, a fifty-pound note in my waist- coat, a lot of small billsk—— In the …
1922 · PDF PAGE 127
…es by destroying temporarily the inhibitions of education. The ordinary drunken man loses the veneer of civilisation. But if you get the right man, the adminis- tration of a drug is quite likely to suppress his mental faculties, with the result that his genius is set free. Coleridge is a case in point. When he happened to get the right quantity of laudanum in him, he dreamed Kubla Khan, one of the supreme treasures of the language. And why is it incomplete ? Because a man called from Porlock on business and called him back to his normal self, s…
1922 · PDF PAGE 48
…ake a pretty sticky finish.” “Thank you very much,” I said, nettled at his tone. “As it happens, I’m a medical student.” “Oh, that’s all right, then, of course.” He agreed with a courtesy which somehow cut deeper into my self-esteem than if he had openly challenged my competence. “In that case,’’ he continued, “I hope to arouse your professional interest in a case of what I think you will agree is something approaching indiscretion. My little friend here arrived to-night, or rather last night, full up to the neck with morphia. Dissatisfied with…
1922 · PDF PAGE 46
… on coke—or words to that effect, Sir Peter.”’ How in the devil’s name did he know what I had been taking ? “Men who know things have no right to go about the world,’’ something said irritably inside myself. But something else obscurely answered it. “That accounts for what the world has always done —made martyrs of its pioneers.”’ I felt a little ashamed, to tell the truth; but Lamus put me at my ease. He waved his hand towards a huge arm-chair covered with Persian tapestries. He gave me a cigarette and lighted it for me. He poured out a drink …
1922 · PDF PAGE 58
…. One is really very much more competent to deal with the affairs of life, that is, in a certain sense of the word. M. Coué is perfectly right, just as the Christian Scientists and all those people are perfectly right, in saying that half our troubles come from our conscious- ness of their existence, so that if we forget their exis- tence, they actually cease to exist ! Haven’t we got an old proverb to the effect that “what the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve over?” When one is on one’s cocaine honeymoon, one is really, to acertain ex…
1922 · PDF PAGE 161
…orning. I can’t understand why a long sleep like that doesn’t refresh one. We're both absolutely fagged. Cockie said a meal would put us right, and he rang down for breakfast in bed. But when it came, we couldn’t either of us eat it. I remember what Haidée said about the spiritual life. We were being prepared to take our places in the new order of Humanity. It’s perfectly right that one should have to undergo a certain amount of dis- comfort. You couldn’t expect anything else. It’s nature’s way. ... We picked ourselves up with five or six goes …
1922 · PDF PAGE 91
…d form. I was perfectly able to do anything required, but the idea of doing it didn’t appeal. I thought a bath and a shower would put me right; and I certainly felt a very different man by the time I had got my clothes on. , When I came back into the sitting-room, I found Lou dancing daintily round the table. She went for me like a bull at a gate; swept me away to the couch and knelt at my side as I lay, while she overwhelmed me with passionate kisses. She divined that I was not in any condition to respond. “You still need your nurse,” she laug…
1922 · PDF PAGE 158
… Drug Fiend . Cockie came back for lunch with a very long face. Mr. Wolfe gave him a good talking-to about money. Well, that’s perfectly right. We had been going the pace. Cockie wanted to take me out and buy me some jewellery to replace what was stolen; but I wouldn’t let him, except a new watch and a wedding ring. I’ve got a horrid feeling about that. It’s frightfully unlucky to lose your wedding ring. I feel as if the new one didn’t belong to me at all. We had a long talk about Gretel being away. We tried one or two places, but they wouldn’t…