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Page 1 of 11909 · PDF PAGE 11
…n in my months of absorption in worldly pleasure and business, I am not really there, but stand behind, preparing the Event. Imagine me, therefore, if you will, in Paris on the last day of September. How surprised was I—though, had I thought, I should have remembered that it was so—to find all my necessary magical apparatus to my hand! Months before, for quite other reasons, I had moved most of my portable property to Paris; now I go to Paris, not thinking of a Retirement, for I now know enough to trust my destiny to bring all things to pass wi…
1909 · PDF PAGE 34
… Ritual as if I was rehearsing it, instead of staying at the Reception of the Candidate and insisting upon being really received. I will therefore now (11.50) sit down again and invoke reallyhardon these same lines,while the Perfume and the Vision are yet formulated, though insensibly, about me. And thus shall end the Third day of my retirement. The Fourth Day So therefore begins the fourth day of this my great magical retirement; I bleed from the slashes of the
1909 · PDF PAGE 76
…“ See ! he hath taken the road to Damascus !" that holy man answered, as he went quietly to the cemetery, “I will await him here ! " So, therefore, there is one place, O thou thief of my heart’s love, Adonai, to which Thou must come at last ; and that place is the tomb in which lie buried all my thoughts and emotions, all that which is “ I, and Me, and Mine.” There will I lay myself and await thee, even as our Father Christian Rosenkreutz that laid himself in the Pastas in the Vault of the Mountain of the Caverns, Abiegnus, on whose portal did …
1909 · PDF PAGE 85
…7.50- JOHN ST. JOHN How is it that I expect the reward at once? Surely I am presuming on my magical power, which is an active thing, and therefore my passivity is not perfect. Of course, when IT happens, it happens out of time and space—now or ten years hence it is all the same. All the same to IT; not all the same to me, O.M. So 0.M. (the dog I) persists irrationally in wanting IT, here and now. Surely, indeed, it is a lack of faith, a pandering to the time-illusion . . . and so forth. Yes, no doubt it is all magically wrong, even magically ab…
1909 · PDF PAGE 19
…ional character of said visions is not bad. They come from nowhere; it is much worse when your own controlled brain breaks loose. I will therefore compose myself to sleep: is it not written that He giveth unto His beloved even in sleep? “ Others, even in sleep, He makes fruitful from His own strength.” 5 i7
1909 · PDF PAGE 127
…uthful at a time; other nights, and days, no. All entries into body recorded duly.) Have done 10 Breath»Cycles ; am quite awake. It will therefore now be lawful again to sleep. Awoke at 7.40, read a letter which arrived, and tried quite vainly to concentrate. Have risen, written a letter. Will break my fast— cafe croissant—and go a walk with the New Mantra, using my recently invented method of doing Prana— yarna on the march. The weather is again perfect. Breakfast—~eaten Yogin-wise—at an end. The walk begins. The walk over. Kept mantra going w…
1909 · PDF PAGE 122
… is meant John St. John, or O. M., or Adonai according to the context. Have read some of THE Books to induct myself again into the Work. Therefore will I kindle the holy Incense, and turn myself again to the One Thought.
1909 · PDF PAGE 58
…NOX 9.0. invincible Will ideas omniform, which flying forth 56 from that one Fountain issued: whose Foundation is One, One and Alone.” As therefore Discipline of whatever kind is only one way of going into a wood at midnight on Easter Eve and cutting the magic wand with a single blow of the magic knife, etc. etc. etc., we can regard the Western system as the essential one. Yet of course Pranayama, for one thing, has its own definite magical effect, apart from teaching the practitioner that he must last out those three seconds—those deadly long la…
1909 · PDF PAGE 9
… in the first place I am now certain of obtaining some Result therefrom, as I was never previously certain. Previous records of mine have therefore seemed vague and obscure, even unto the wisest of the scribes; and I am myself afraid that even here all my skill of speech and study may avail me little, so that the most important part of the record will be blank. Now I cannot tell whether it is a part of my personal Kamma, or whether the Influence of the Equinox of Autumn should be the exciting cause; but it has usually been at this part of the yea…
1909 · PDF PAGE 112
11.14. 11.49. 110 THE EQUINOX The Vision of the Holy Guardian Angel itself; yet was He seen as from afar, not intimately. . . , Therefore is 0. M. not content with all this wonder; but will now orderly close the temple, that at the Beginning of the Tenth Day—and Ten are the Holy Sephiroth, the Emanations of the Crown ; Blessed be He! . . . He may make new considerations of this Operation whereby he may discover through what error he is thus betrayed again and again into failure. Failure. Failure. The Temple is closed. Now then, Ο Lord Adonai! L…
1909 · PDF PAGE 59
…. and so On. We must just do the best we can, now as always. I have been concentrating solely on the Revision and copying of the Ritual. Therefore I now live just as I always live in order to get a definite piece of work done: concentrating as it were 017 the Work. As Levi also adjures us by the Holy Names. Coming back from lunch (a dozen Marennes Vertes and an Andouillette aux Pommes) I met Zelina Visconti, more lovely-ugly than ever in her wild way. She says that she is favourably disposed towards me, on the recommendation of her concierge ! l…
1909 · PDF PAGE 140
…n and as a Serpent and as a Phallus.” . . . » Have had a long talk on Art with B . " The master considers himself always a student.” So, therefore, whatever one may have attained, in this as in Art, there is always so much more possible that one can never be satisfied Much less, then, satiatedl . Having gone back into the life of the world—yet a world transfiguredI—I did all my little work, my little amusements, all the things that one does, very quietly and beatifically. About 10.30 the rapture began to carry me away; yet I withstood it and went …
1909 · PDF PAGE 18
… did with reluctance, as an act of self-denial or asceticisrn, lest my desire to concentrate on the mystic path should run away with me. Therefore I think it may fairly be counted unto me for righteousness. I now drink a final coffee and retire, to do I hope a more straightforward type of meditation. So mote it be. Naked, Maryt looks like Corregio’s Antiope. Her eyes are a strange grey, and her hair a very wonderful reddish gold—a colour I have never seen before and cannot properly describe. She has Jewish blood in her, I fancy ; this, and her m…
1909 · PDF PAGE 36
…INOX I want that definite experience in the very same sense as Abramelin had it; and what’s more, I mean to go on till I get it. I begin, therefore, in Hanged Man posture, to invoke the Angel, within the Pyramid already duly prepared by DCLXXI. Alas! in vain have I tried even the supreme ritual of Awaiting the Beloved, although once I thought Ah ! give unto Thy beloved in sleep! How ashamed I should be, though! For an earthly lover one would be on tiptoe of excitement, trembling at every sound, eager, afraid . . . I will, however, rise and open …
1909 · PDF PAGE 134
…derations, though in a way pertaining to the Work, are not the Work itself. Let me begin to inflame myselfinfraying! The Twelfth Day When therefore I had made ready the chamber, so that all was dark, save for the Lamp upon the Altar, I
1909 · PDF PAGE 53
…e attain the desirable harbour; for my little ship is tossed by divers tempests, even by Euroclydon, in the Place where Four Winds meet. Therefore I shall go to rest, letting my mind rest ever in the Will toward Adonai. Let my sleep be toward Him, or annihilation; let my waking be to the music of His name; let the day be full to the uttermost of Him only. My good friend the body woke me at this hour by means of disturbed dreams about a quite imaginary 51
1909 · PDF PAGE 136
… presence eternally even now. But He withdrew Himself, for that I must do that which I was sent hither to do; namely, to rule the earth. Therefore with sweetness ineffable He parted from me ; yet leaving acomfort not to be told, aPeace . . . the Peace. And the Light and the Perfume do certainly yet remain with me in the little Chamber, and I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that He shall stand at the latter day upon the earth. For I am He that liveth, and was dead; and behold! I am alive for evermore, and have the Keys of Hell and of Death. I …
1909 · PDF PAGE 7
JOHN ST. JOHN There are countless worlds of wonder unpath’d and un- comprehended—and even unguessed, we doubt not. Therefore we set out diligently to explore and map these untrodden regions of the mind. Surely our adventures may be as exciting as those of Cortes or Cook! It is for this reason that I invite with confidence the attention of humanity to this record of my journey. But another set of people will find another disappoint~ ment. I am hardly an heroic figure. I am not The Good Young Man That Died. Ido not remain in holy meditation, balance…
1909 · PDF PAGE 39
…noweth not either his own nature, or his origin or destiny, or even the name of that which he desireth. Before he can enter the Pyramid, therefore, four ordeals are required 01 him. So, bound and blinded, he stumbles forward, and passes through the wrath of the Four Great Princes of the Evil of the World, whose Terror is about him on every side, Yet since he has followed the voice of the Officer who has prepared him, in this part 01 the Ritual no longer merely Nature, the great Mother, but Neschamah (his aspiration) and the representative of Ado…