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Page 1 of 11909 · PDF PAGE 94
…am formula with which I am not clearly acquainted. If I knew the Word of the Grade, I could foretell things: but I don’t. I think I will read through the whole Record to date and see 11 I can find an Ariadne-clue. Back, and settled to Ritual—painting. Finished: bar frontispiece and colophon, which I can design and execute to—morrow. Took half an hour off, making a silly sketch of a sunset. Will now read through the Record, and Reflect upon it. “ Before I was blind ; now I see Ι " Yesterday I was right up to the Threshold, right enough; but got tu…
1909 · PDF PAGE 48
THE EQUINOX 810. read and understand quite easily with the mantragoing; 8.22. 8.40. 9.0. 46 one can remember things. For example, I see my watch chain; I think. “Gold. Au, 196 atomic weight. AuClg, £s 105. od. an ounce ” and so on aw! infinitum; but the act of writing down these things stops the mantra. This may be (partly) because I always say under my breath each word as I write it. [P.S.-But I do so, though less possibly, as I read] As I am really awake, I may as well do a little Prana- yama. How little I know of magic and the conditions of …
1909 · PDF PAGE 127
…es into body recorded duly.) Have done 10 Breath»Cycles ; am quite awake. It will therefore now be lawful again to sleep. Awoke at 7.40, read a letter which arrived, and tried quite vainly to concentrate. Have risen, written a letter. Will break my fast— cafe croissant—and go a walk with the New Mantra, using my recently invented method of doing Prana— yarna on the march. The weather is again perfect. Breakfast—~eaten Yogin-wise—at an end. The walk begins. The walk over. Kept mantra going well enough. 125
1909 · PDF PAGE 122
… to the Egoistic diction, only remembering always that by “I” is meant John St. John, or O. M., or Adonai according to the context. Have read some of THE Books to induct myself again into the Work. Therefore will I kindle the holy Incense, and turn myself again to the One Thought.
1909 · PDF PAGE 138
…ust have known something of this Illumination when they wrote them. It seems, too, that this Operation is transformed. I suppose it must read as a patchwork of most inhar- monious colour, a thing without continuityor cohesion. Το me, now, it appears from the very start a simple direct progress in one straight line. I can hardly remember that there were checks. Of course my rational memory picking out details finds otherwise. But I seem to have two memories almost as if belonging to two strata of being. In Qabalastic language, my native conscious…
1909 · PDF PAGE 41
…n of the Oil. Konx Om Pax. [With these mystic words the Mysteries Eleusinian were sealed—Eu] Having written out this explanation, I will read it through and meditate solemnly thereupon. All this I wrote in the Might of the Secret Ring committed unto me by the Masters; so that all might be absolutely correct. One thing strikes me as worthy of mention. Last night when I went into the restaurant to speak to 39
1909 · PDF PAGE 140
1.32 THE EQUINOX . I read through this volume of the Record; and I dissolve my being into quintessential laughter. The entries are some of them so funny] . . . Pre- viously, this had escaped me. . And now the Rapture of it takes me! 1.25. The exquisite beauty of the women in the Restaurant 1127 1.30 3.17 11.15 138 . what John St. John would have called old hagsl . My soul is singing. . . my soul is singing! . It matters nothing what I do . . . everything goes infinitely, incredibly right ! “The Lord Adonai is about me as a Thunderbolt and as a P…
1909 · PDF PAGE 103
…eciting the Ritual, to Dr. R and H for lunch. They have forgotten the appoint- ment, so he continues and reaches Lavenue’s at 12.4 after reading his letters and doing one or two necessary things. He orders Epinards, Tarte aux Praises, Glace au Café, and % Evian. The distaste for food is great; and for meat amounts to loathing. The weather is exceedingly hot; it may be arranged thus by Adonai to enable John St. John to meditate in comfort. For he is vowed solemnly “to interpret every phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with his soul.” Duri…
1909 · PDF PAGE 46
…! Is it not written that Except Adonai build the House, they labour in vain that build it? Chez Lavenue. Not feeling like revision, will read through this record. My dinner is to be Bisque d’Ecrevisses, Tournedos Rossini, a Coupe Jack, half a bottle of Meursault, and Coffee. All should now acquit adepts of the charge of not knowing how to do themselves well. Dinner over, I return to Mantra-Yoga. One may note that I expected the wine to have an excessive effect on me; on the contrary, it has much less effect than usual. This is rather important.…
1909 · PDF PAGE 60
… ache, and her kiss, half given and half taken, much refreshed me. Have done Liber DCCCCLXIII. 'Tis hardly thinkable that one could have read it (merely) in the
1909 · PDF PAGE 114
…y march and its strife with heat, thirst, fatigue, cure all the ills of the soul, so does Pranayama clear away the phantoms that Mayan, dread maker of Illu- sion, hath cumbered it withal. Io Breath-Cycles; calm, perfect, without the least effort; enough to go to sleep upon. He will read through the Ritual once, and then sleep. (The Pranayama precipitated a short attack of diarrhoea, started by the chill of the Ceremony.) He slept from 1.45 (approximately) till now. The mom is cold and damp; rain has fallen. John St. John is horribly tired; the …
1909 · PDF PAGE 21
11.13. 11.20. JOHN ST. JOHN Am I mixing my drinks unduly? I think not; if one didn’t change to another mystic process, one would have to read the newspaper. This completes my half—hour of Asana. Legs very painful; yet again I find myself wishing for Kandy (not sugar candy, but the place where I did my first Hindu practices and got my first Results) and a life devoted entirely to meditation. But not for mel I’m no Pratyeka—Buddha; a Dhamma—Buddha every inch of me! [A Pratyeka-Buddha attains the Supreme Reward for himself alone; a Dhamma—Buddha ren…
1909 · PDF PAGE 119
…ognac, et Cigare” may tune him up to the point of either going back to work, or across Paris to the Hammam. He will make the experiment, reading through his proofs the while. One good thing; the Chittam is moving slowly. The waiters all hurry him—what a contrast to last night l Proofs read through again. John St. John feels far from well. A stroll down the Boul’ Mich’ and avisit to M—’s studio improve matters a good deal. The cure continued. No worry about the Work, but an effort to put it altogether out of the mind. A cafe creme, forty minutes…
1909 · PDF PAGE 99
… all the sweating and trembling of the body that heart could desire; but no “ jumping about like a frog” or levitation. A pity ! I shall read for a little in the Yoga-Shastra as a rest. Then for the end of the day and the Beginning of the Ninth Day. Zoroaster (or Pythagoras ?) informs us that the number Nine is sacred, and attains the summit of Philosophy. I’m sure I hope so! I get into Asana . . . and so endeth the Eighth Lesson. The Ninth Day Thus I began this great day, being in my Asana firm and easy, and holding in my breath for a full minu…
1909 · PDF PAGE 113
…a little child groping feebly for the breast of its mother, so gropeth Thy little child after Thee, O Thou Self—Glittering One ! He hath read through Days VIII. and IX. . . . He is too tired to understand what he reads. He will, despite of all, do a little Pranayama, and then sleep, ever willing Adonai. For Pranayama with its intense physical strain is a great medicine for the mind. Even as the long trail of the desert and the life with the winds and the stars, !11
1909 · PDF PAGE 116
…ut thy friends have heard that story 9.0. before, and thy explanation will not appear in the score. Mr.]. SI./ohn, ὀ. Maya, 0, they will read in the local newspaper. There is no getting away from that! Failure! Failure! Failure! Now then let me (7.35) take the position of the Hanged Man and invoke Adonai. Probably sleep returned shortly. Not a good night, though dreamless, so far as memory serves. The rain comes wearily down, not chasing the dryness, but soddening the streets. The rain of autumn, not the rain of spring! So is it in this soul, L…
1909 · PDF PAGE 16
…rpen it yet more, so that this body may fear me ; for that I am Horus the terrible, the Avenger, the Lord of the Gate of the West. 4.15— Read Ritual DCLXXI. [The nature of this Ritual is 4.30. explained later.—ED.] 5.10. I have returned from my shopping. Strange how 14 solemn and dignified so trivial a thing becomes, once one has begun to concentrate l I bought two pears, half a pound of Garibaldi biscuits, and a packet of Gaufrettes. I hada Citron presse, too, at the Dome. At the risk of violating the precepts of Zoroaster 170 and 144 I propose…
1909 · PDF PAGE 105
… Adept being balanced and trained to fill his Malkuth, vacated by the purified Nephesch which has gone up to live in Tiphereth. Or so O.M. read it. The other idea of the Light descending and filling each principle with its glory is, it seems to him, less fertile, and less in accord with any idea of Evolution. (What would Judas McCabbage think ?) And one can so readily understand how tremendous a task is that of the postulant, since he has to glorify and initiate all his principles and train them to their new and superior tasks. This surely explain…
1909 · PDF PAGE 23
…tself there. [The Visuddhi-Cakkram: the “nerve centre,” in Hindu mystic physiology, opposite the larynx.——ED.] Also, since others are to read this, one must mention that almost from the beginning of this Working of Magick Art the changed aspect of the world whose culmination is the keeping of the oath “ I will inter- pret every phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with my soul ” was present with me. This aspect is difficult to describe; one is indifferent to everything and yet interested in it. The meaning of things is lost, pending the inc…
1909 · PDF PAGE 82
12.25. THE EQUINOX 3‘ If others are to read this, I should like them to see that elaborate codes of morality have nothing to do with my system. No question of sin and grace ever enters it. If a chemist wants to prepare copper sulphate from its oxide, he does not hesitateon the ground that sulphuric acid, thrown in the eyes, hurts people. So I use the moral drug which will produce the desired result, whether that drug be what people commonly call poison or no. In short, I act like a sensible man; and I think I deserve every credit for introducin…