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Page 1 of 21909 · PDF PAGE 125
10.27. 1 I .47. 12.19. 1 2.33. JOHN ST. JOHN Let it! I’m going on. The first power to return is the power to suffer. The shame of itl The torture of it! I slept in patches as a man sleeps that is deadly ill. I am only afraid of failing to wake for the End of the day. God! what a day! . . . I dare not trust my will to keep me awake; so I rise, wash, and will walk about till time to get into my Asana. Thirst! Oh how I thirst! I had not thought that there could be such suffering. The Eleventh Day It seems a poor thing to be proud of, merely to be a…
1909 · PDF PAGE 77
…pity to have become a magician, capable of forcing Nature to accommodate herself to your statements, for no better use to be made of the power than this ! Miracles are only legitimate when there is no other issue possible. It is waste of power (the most expensive kind of power) to “make the spirits bring us all kinds of food ” when we live next door to the Savoy ; that Yogi was a fool who spent forty years learning to walk across the Ganges when all his friends did it daily for two pice; and that man does ill when he invokes Tahuti to cure a co…
1909 · PDF PAGE 41
… the Voice of the Archangel, and the trump of God. He is installed in the Throne of the Double Kingdom, and he wields the Wand of Double Power by the signs of the grade. He is recognised an initiate, and the word of Secret Power, and the silent administration of the Sacrament of Sword and Flame, acknowledge him. Then, the words being duly spoken and the deeds duly done, all is symbolically sealed by the Thirty Voices, and the Word that vibrateth from the Silence to the Speech, and from the Speech again unto the Silence. Then the Pyramid is seal…
1909 · PDF PAGE 83
…pparatus. The mantra has slowed down to (at a guess) a quarter of its old pace. The rest in unison. This is because the feeling of great power, etc. etc., is the mere evidence of con- flict—the thunder of the guns. Now all is at peace; the power of the river, no more a torrent. The Concourse of the Forces has become the Harmony of the Forces; the word Tetragrammation is spoken and ended ; the holy letter Shin is descended into it. For the roaring God of Sinai we have the sleeping Babe of Bethlehem. A fulfilment, not a destroying, of the Law. Am a…
1909 · PDF PAGE 128
… EQUINOX 11.15. Made also considerations concerning the Nature of the 1.5. 126 Path. The upshot is that it does not matter. Acquire full power of Concentration; the rest is only leather and prunella. Don’t worry; work! I shall now make a pantacle to aid the said faculty of concentration. The Voice 01 the Nadi (by the way) is resoundingwell, and the Chittam is a little better under control. Have worked well on the Pantacle, thinking of Adonai. Of course we are now reduced to a “low anthropo- morphic conception ”—but what odds ? Once the Right Th…
1909 · PDF PAGE 104
…t three or {our days, has these images. The ideal condition seems likely to be perfect oblivion —or (in the Adept) is the Tamo-Guna, the Power of Elemental Darkness, broken once and for ever, so that His sleep is vivid and rational as another man’s waking; His waking another man’s Samadhi; His Samadhi—to which He ever strives—— ? ? ? ? ? At least this latter view is suggested by the Rosicrucian formula of Reception: May thy mind be open unto the Higher! May thy heart be the Centre of Light ! May thy body be the Temple of the Rosy Cross ! and by…
1909 · PDF PAGE 135
…ource, that hath no counterpart in Nature unless it be in that Dawn of the North. . . . And there were revealed unto me certain Words of Power . . . And I invoked my Lord and recited the Book Ararita at the Altar . . . This holy inspired book (delivered unto me in the winter of last year) was now at last understanded of me; for it is, though I knew it not, a complete scheme of this Operation. For this cause I will add this book Ararita at the end of the Manuscript. [This has not been permitted. The Book Ararita will be issued by the Α.“. Α:. in…
1909 · PDF PAGE 21
…he Elixir would operate as a “ detonator.” I seem to be perfectly ready for illumination, if only because I am so perfectly dark. Yet my power to create magical images is still with me. ' I 1.40— Hanged Man posture. Will invoke Adonai once more 12.0. by pure thought Got into a very curious state indeed ; part of me being quite perfectly asleep, and part quite perfectly awake. . Have slept, and that soundly, though with many dreams. Awaking with the utmost horror and loath- ing of the Path of the VVise—it seemed somehow like a vast dragon—demon …
1909 · PDF PAGE 31
…assuredly smile at this exalted mystic; his life seems made up of sleep and love-making. Indeed, to-day I have been shockingly under the power of Tamas, the dark sphere. But that is clearly a fatigue-effect from having worked so hard. Oh Lord, how long? The Mantra still ripples on. I am so far from the Path that I have a real good mind to get Maryt to let me perform the Black Mass on her 31 midnight. I would 29
1909 · PDF PAGE 26
… one practises detaching it from the Vrittis (impressions). One looks at everything with- out seeing it. Ο coffeel By the mighty Name of Power do I invoke thee, consecrating thee to the Service of the Magic of Light. Let the pulsations of my heart be strong and regular and slow! Let my brain be wakeful and active in its supreme task of self-control! That my desired end may be effected through Thy strength, Adonai, unto Whom be the Glory for ever! Amen without lie, and Amen, and Amen of Amen. I now proceed to the Hammam.? ,.ס11 24
1909 · PDF PAGE 106
…tual Sun, which yet he beheld but darkly, to him now even the light of earth seems dark. Reason the rudder was long since unshipped; the power 01 his personality has broken down, yet under the tiny storm-sail 01 his Will to Adonai, the crazy bark holds way, steered by the car of Discipline— Yea, he holds his course. Adonail Adonai! is not the harbour yet in sight? He has returned home and burnt (as every night since its arrival) the holy incense of Abramelin the Mage. The atmosphere is full of vitality, sweetened and strengthened; the soul natu…
1909 · PDF PAGE 55
…le experience) trace the chain. With neigh- bourhood-concentration this is not 50. Perhaps there is a chain, but so great already is the power of prevent- ing the impressions from rising into consciousness that one has no knowledge of the links, each one having been automatically slaughtered on the threshold of the consciousness. Of course, the honest and wary practitioner will have no difficulty in recognising the right kind of wandering; with this explanation there is no excuse for him if he does. I have another theory, though. Perhaps this is…
1909 · PDF PAGE 63
…w do its phantoms differ from those of absinthe, reverie, and love, and so on? We may admit their unsubstantiality without denying their power; the phantoms of absinthe and love are potent enough to drive a man to death or marriage; while reverie may end in anti-vivisectionism or nut— food-madness. On the whole, I prefer to explain the many terrible catastrophes I have seen caused by magic misunder— stood by supposing that in magic one is working with some very subtle and essential function of the brain, whose disease may mean for one man paral…
1909 · PDF PAGE 74
…rue Worshipper of the Highest. Ol sonuf vaoresaji, gono Iadapiel. elonusaha cælazod. 1 rule above ye, said the Lord of Lords, exalted in power. [From Dr. Dee's MSS.—ED.] Will now try the Hanged Man again. Very Vigorous and good, my willing of Adonai. . . . I should like to explain the difficulty. It would be easy enough to form a magical Image of Adonai; and He would doubtless inform it. But it would only be an Image. This. may be the meaning of the command- ment “Thou shalt not make any graven image,” etc., just as “ Thou shalt not have any oth…
1909 · PDF PAGE 7
…I will drink this wine, and not that wine.” For, as we have now learnt, our happiness does not at all depend upon our possessions or our power. We would all rather be dead than be a millionaire who lives in daily dread of murder or blackmail. Our happiness depends upon our state of mind. It is the mastery of these things that the Magicians of to-day have set out to obtain for humanity; they will not turn back, or turn aside. 5
1909 · PDF PAGE 27
…mmortal, even by Amoun the giver of Life, and by Khem the mighty, whose Phallus is like the Pillar in Karnakl Even by myself and my male power do I conjure ye. Amen. I was getting sleepy when the oysters came. I now eat them in a Yogin and ceremonial manner. I have eaten my oysters, chewing them every one; also some bread and butter in the same manner, giving praise to Priapus the Lord of the oyster, to Demeter the Lady of corn, and to Isis the Queen of the Cow. Further, I pray symbolically in this meal for Virtue, and Strength, and Gladness; a…
1909 · PDF PAGE 80
…thed them all so! it was terrible having to fly round and comfort and explain; the difficulty increases (I should judge) as about the fifth power of the number of wives . . . I'm glad I’m awake! Yea, and how glad when I am indeed awake from this glamour life, awake to the love of my Lord Adonai ! It is bitter chill at dawn. Aconsecrating cold it seems to me—yet I will not confront it and rejoice in it— I am already content, having ceased to strive. Again awake, deliciously rested and refreshed. Again awake, ditto.
1909 · PDF PAGE 39
…takes its station in the East and the officers salute it both by speech and silence in their signs; and they pronounce the secret Word of power that riseth from the Silence and returneth thereunto. All this they affirm; and in affirming the triangular base of the Pyramid, find that they have mysteriously affirmed the Apex thereof Whose name is Ecstasy. This also is sealed by that secret Word ; for that Word containeth All. Into this prepared Pyramid of divine Light there cometh a certain darkling wight, who knoweth not either his own nature, or his …
1909 · PDF PAGE 66
…. 1.58. 7.35. 64 THE EQUINOX anywhere else; I think because the main thoroughfares radiate from stars, and so the angles puzzle one. The power, too, suits ill with civilised life; it fades as I live in towns, revives as I get back to God’s good earth. A seven-foot tent and the starlight—who wants more ? Well, I’ve woke myself writing this. The point that really struck me was this: what would happen if by severe training I forced my “astral body "—damn it! isn’t there a term for it free from L. . . . -pro- stitution? (One speaks of “les deux pro…
1909 · PDF PAGE 85
7.32. 7.50- JOHN ST. JOHN How is it that I expect the reward at once? Surely I am presuming on my magical power, which is an active thing, and therefore my passivity is not perfect. Of course, when IT happens, it happens out of time and space—now or ten years hence it is all the same. All the same to IT; not all the same to me, O.M. So 0.M. (the dog I) persists irrationally in wanting IT, here and now. Surely, indeed, it is a lack of faith, a pandering to the time-illusion . . . and so forth. Yes, no doubt it is all magically wrong, even magica…