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…ADE OF THE ONE-EYED TOUT I doubt if any end there be To similes a bard might spout :— Thou stirr’st the Springs of poetry, Thou dear and noble one-eyed tout! ENVOI How fortunate that very few Can chatter on like this, about Nothing at all! Good-bye to you, O dear and noble one-eyed tout.
…something green, like absinthee, Or purple like a purple bee, If bees are purple, which I doubt. O product of the Varsity, Thou dear and noble! one-eyed tout! Whom dost thou cadge for? For I view With envy thy sweet liberty. Thy tie’s invariably new, Although thy face we never see _Even on Sunday changed! Ah me! That face, at which the lilies pout, That face extraordinararee, Thou dear and noble one-eyed tout. Fragrant as dawn and light as dew Thy dainty presence! Or a tree Some poets would compare thee to: Some poets to a common flea. 1 Mr Rob…
§$ Dedicate THIS VOLUME TO IVOR GORDON BACK WHO SO WORTHILY CARRIED ON THE TRADITIONS OF HIGH THINKING AND NOBLE LIVING INAUGURATED BY MYSELF WHEN AT CAMBRIDGE BUT I AM TOO LAZY TO WRITE AN ODE TO HIM
…ant roar of masses And city clamours cease. *Tis here we leave the sadness Of cruel earth behind ; This is the land of gladness Of every noble mind ! This is the summit regal Of boldly-sculptured form. ’Tis hence the audacious eagle Soars high to stem the storm. D 47
FORE! BALLADE OF BAD VERSES THERE be songs of surrender and sighing, Of sentiment noble and just, Of lovers deserted and dying, Of languour and lilies and lust. There be visions of when we are dust ; There be sonnets and rondels enough To break the terrestrial crust— Lord, keep us from reading the stuff ! When Ajax, the lightning defying, Was rude, his impertinent bust Was shattered. The Editor, trying To write (as an Editor must Though his faculties rapidly rust) Will speak in a manner that’s rough: “You poets deserve to be trussed ! Lord, kee…
…sica] lines I have attacked the problem of Phonetic Spelling from an entirely original standpoint. The result is the vin- dication of my noble theories on this matter. THOUGH through and hiccough have nough rhyme, enough, Yough ought tough grant, remain tough make one cough. Here goughs — Ough! sweet tough rough oughoughn the lough Though, trough, I might through ough, if it were rough, My sougher. Hough I loughve the oughx sough tough That goughs, loughed loughing, where the ripples sough With the blough blough-bloughsed ploughman tough the tr…
…nce to collide with a chap In a cart at the foot of a hill, Or a clergyman out in a trap ; It is better to meet a mishap With philosophy noble and sound, And steer for Fortunia’s lap : “ Hi, Mister, your wheel’s goin’ round !” Though Jack may be followed by Jill, On the slope, a man’s claret to tap ; There’s a way that is made by a will, Like a river turned on from a tap. You may cover the whole of the map, Your face with the sunlight is browned, You smile when boys shout, with a clap,! Hi, Mister, your wheel’s goin’ round !” Thus good is the c…