1904 · PDF PAGE 28
In Residence
16 BALLADE OF URSA AND URSULA Played We. Strayed She. L’ENVOI Dare ? Oui. Mére She.
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Page 1 of 21904 · PDF PAGE 32
In Residence
…SUMMER jOYS The epithet he certainly Appears to have employed. He prays No fizz, nor will to heaven apply For lots of Salmon Mayonnaise. ENVOI King of the Israelites, lay by Austere looks and ascetic ways! You would condone polygamy— I only ask for length of days With lots of Salmon Mayonnaise.
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1904 · PDF PAGE 34
In Residence
…IRS He’s wet, but he speedily dries, More quickly than pessimists think. His gaff he repeatedly plies :— But Smith’s is a permanent ink. ENVOI Prince, we sell it in various shades, In azure and purple and pink. Things change by perceptible grades :— But Smith’s is a permanent ink.
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1904 · PDF PAGE 40
In Residence
… PAPERS Of Pedantry on which is spread No butter of Good Style undue; Before one’s eyes the types unread Dance until everything is blue. ENVOI Prince, of three bads who wants the best ? Off, Granta, Cantab, and Review! Stick to the “ Mag” and let the rest Dance until everything is blue!
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1904 · PDF PAGE 26
In Residence
…LLADE OF A COMMERCIAL EMPIRE . Behind the century, And blind to modern psyching ; But are we really free? Is Freedom’s Eagle striking? L’ENVOI Prince, this retort I fling When trouting or when piking In rivers with a string For truth (which comes for spiking) :— “T wish the Shipping Ring Felt Freedom’s Eagle striking.”
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1904 · PDF PAGE 38
In Residence
…HE BACKS He paddles like a honey-bee ; His golden boots are made at Flack’s ; You often see a man like he Upon the backs—upon the backs, ENVOI Prince, you may storm Sevastopool, With Maxim’s thwacks and axe attacks; I ply the deft Canadian tool Upon the backs—upon the backs.
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1904 · PDF PAGE 44
In Residence
…OUT I doubt if any end there be To similes a bard might spout :— Thou stirr’st the Springs of poetry, Thou dear and noble one-eyed tout! ENVOI How fortunate that very few Can chatter on like this, about Nothing at all! Good-bye to you, O dear and noble one-eyed tout.
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1904 · PDF PAGE 50
In Residence
…d one day you may recollect That I always said Heaven was blue, And you owe, that your life is not wrecked, To a serious ballade or two. ENVOI Princess, it is ill superseding The old and well-tried with the new. Still, for once, lend your ear not unheeding To a serious ballade or two.
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1904 · PDF PAGE 24
In Residence
…TICISM Has forgotten the venom we knew ; Nor sting as those articles stang When Keats wrote a poem or two Before the good zon of Lang. L’ENVOI There is a young lady, it’s true, Who finds that their tongues have a tang But—the sorrows of Satan were few Before the good zon of Lang.
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1904 · PDF PAGE 52
In Residence
…nks are ever scored With the great gashes that they make— These names shall strike a ringing chord— Nelson and Rodney, Howe and Drake. L’ENVOI England, thy sons shall guard thy coast, While the white waves in thunder break ; While in these names we make our boast— Nelson and Rodney, Howe and Drake.
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1904 · PDF PAGE 56
In Residence
…re our last sun sinks in red, Clasp hands in friendship, ere we die, Nor shame us if a tear be shed :— The time has come tosay Good-bye. ENVOI Prince, whether in Life’s Tripos classed Or ploughed quite irretrievably, Our friendship for all time is cast. The time is come to say Good-bye.
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1904 · PDF PAGE 36
In Residence
…ING And inflicted a terrible gash On the person behind in a funk'— A mixture of prudence and dash Turns not from the wall of the Mo6nch. ENVOI Prince, both of us, axe and hobnail, Surmounted it, fellows of spunk! It would be a terrible gale Turned us from the wall of the Moénch. 1 Any member of the English Alpine Club.
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1904 · PDF PAGE 30
In Residence
…O the birds that are glad to sing After the meal on the early worm! O I am happier now than a king! Sing heigh-ho for the glad May Term! ENVOI Prince, or pauper, be what you may, Business is quiet, but stocks are firm ; Never believe in the “ bears” in May! Sing heigh-ho for the glad May Term!
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1904 · PDF PAGE 20
In Residence
…ld plunge and go nap On the quite unassailable ground Of Ace, King, Queen, Knave—verbum sap— “ Hi, mister, your wheel’s goin’ round !” L’ENVOI I doubt if the verse I distil Will be by th’ Academy crowned, I don’t care a bit if it will, As long as the voices are shrill ;— “ Hi, mister, your wheel’s goin’ round!”
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1904 · PDF PAGE 12
In Residence
… which I honestly trust Will be quick and flamboyant and bluff, And leave me to satisfy Fust :—! Lord, keep us from reading the stuff! L’ENVOI Prince Printer, in wait you are lying For copy, and I’m in a huff. You see even me versifying— Lord, keep us from reading the stuff ! 1R, Browning’s Works, vol. xvi. A pet name for Mr Spalding.
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1904 · PDF PAGE 42
In Residence
…ALLADE OF THE NEW HUMOUR Some toady’s risky “ mot,” Some cad’s malicious rumour :—! All’s porridge for your pot. You label it as humour! ENVOI A swollen head you’ve got, A suppurating tumour! You write infernal rot, And label it as humour! 1 Mr. Back, myself, the O.B., any member of Christ’s College, any member of Corpus Christi College, any member of Emmanuel College, are here severally enumerated.
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1904 · PDF PAGE 22
In Residence
Ce) BALLADE OF WHIST It is no time for jibe or pun, But to beseech the sod To yawn for you, who did not shun To reckon on the odd. L’ENVOI At Ulm the troops of Mack Surrendered in a bod- Y, in a cul-de-sac, At Bonaparte’s attack ; Be wary lest, strong clod,! You reckon on the odd. 1 The author is indebted to Mr Francis Thompson for this felicitous and, withal, epigrammatic way of writing ‘‘ man.”
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1904 · PDF PAGE 16
In Residence
…won't paint the universe blue, You won't paint the universe red, You'd better join in with us two :— “The Trip! and I wish I were dead.” ENVOI Princess, if they ever exhume, From the Corn Exchange, me, and we wed, I shall make this poor joke, with a bloom Of happiness which, I assume, You will not consider ill-bred, As we book for the Land of the Oom :— “The Trip! and I wish I were dead.”
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1904 · PDF PAGE 18
In Residence
…mb-plumb-plumb Into the sticks.” No batsman stays While the ball spins round like a tee-to-tum ; Not every bowler can break both ways! ' ENVOI Prince, if your batting be mild and meek, Think on the burden of these sweet lays, So your revenge you may nobly wreak, And bowl for the ’Varsity all your days; Not every bowler can break both ways!
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1904 · PDF PAGE 48
In Residence
36 BALLADE OF LAWN TENNIS And a very good piece of advice it was too (Chorus, please!) The score of life is at Love-all. ENVOI Nothing is like leather. The rhyme is passable—a task by no means small. Though its connection is certainly not obvious—still our cap has lost no feather :— Done it, by Jupiter! We can only say farewell, gentle reader, impressing on you the truth (put in Tennis language because this ballade is all about Tennis) that the score of life is at Love-all.
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