That man he smiled ;  and bade him mark 
A large blue paper signed and checked 
By Turquand, Bishop, Young and Clarke, 
As “ audited and found correct" 
Which said "accomplished in a month 
The seventeen million and sixty oneth ! ” 
 
They tried low diet, circumcision, 
Injection, medicine, inhalation, 
They tried a vain hypnotic vision, 
They tried cold water and castration, 
In vain — the tool persistent stood it all ; 
Doctor and surgeon did no mortal good at all. 
 
The patient died.  His coffin crowned with flowers 
From various ladies — roses, lilies, laurel, 
As some last tribute to his wondrous powers 
Was oak, and bound with brass.  The moral 
Of this sad tale is so extremely patent 
That to repeat it were banal and blatant. 
 
Learn from this fable — counterfeit presentment 
(Shakespeare) Of Truth — this fact (I’ve sought 
it far  !) 
The best of blessings is divine contentment, 
(Shakespeare again) and in particular 
(Seek not to exceed in matters of virility 
God-given ability !) 
 
[95]