Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

British tars when the lifeboat overturned, and the Rocket apparatus jammed ; for I flung it aboard the distressed ship in the teeth of a fearful gale, and held it there for hours while the grateful sea- men swung to land in buckets. I have also, she continued more shyly, derived some gratification of a sensual nature from its employment. But noth- ing to the P......e League ! They got there, and they stayed there : they stayed there till the poor old emotion-knob was nearly torn to shreds. The Con- servative Female is a pretty randy proposition, you bet your life ! But enough of my election ! (She broke off as suddenly as she had begun, for she was of a low type of intelligence, and constant tippling had un- dermined her rudimentary brain), let us fuck a bit ! Let us spunk ! Let us come ! Why don’t you lick me, Bertie ? Stuff some more rags up, Harry ! Now, Archbishop, can you give me a good soaking mouthful of your pleasure-pudding ? — But I had seen enough. Leila’s hand and the voluptuous orgie before me had completed the con- valescence of my invalid lollipop ; and with a yell of lust I flung myself upon her eternally open gravy- giver. The Archbishop and his dirty-minded old aunt were blotted out as the water-closet of my black judy sent its gushes of pus and hotchpotch over me, and gripped Old Slimy with its marvellous clutch. Oh girls ! She was a grand fuck ! May you all be but a thousandth part as kind to your lovers and you will never want for a meaty girlometer to make you a baby, or to bid you wallow in the ran- dier emotions of a sterile spend. I learnt later from the Archbishop that his Ven- erable Aunt was a noteworthy figure in her way. She it was who conceived the idea of taking a Web- ster’s Unabridged Dictionary and erasing the name of any thing which could not be introduced into [51]