bosky dells, I came upon this fellow, boozing at a 
bottle of his own vile fusel-oil, and encircled by a 
group of naked whores, who amused themselves by 
protracted efforts to induce his shrunken tarse to 
assert itself.  They were in vain.  The Weary Willie 
of the incompetent gut-grinder remained supine for 
all they could do.  And they did their best.  None of 
them were out for an airing, in racing phrase.  I 
learned later that their pay depended absolutely on 
their success with his much-abused affair.  In vain 
they exposed the most fascinating parts of their 
anatomy ;  in vain their well-oiled hands, their mouths 
greasy with each others’ spendings creamy or mu-
cous, strove with the inexorable arbitrament of Na-
ture :  the warrior hid his bashful head, and no god 
altered the dread fiat, uttered even below half-
cock :  Thus far, and no farther !  My own modest 
arborvitae, though, as you may guess, shared no 
such disabilities.  Advancing, I showed its quiet 
dignity to the first lady.  This woman, who had so 
great an influence upon my after life, merits a few 
words of description.  By race a full-blooded Ne-
gress, by profession a threepenny-uprighter, by 
education a woman of singular charm and spiritu-
ality, by inclination a sapphist and cocksucker, by 
disease a barrel, she was as delicious a rabbit-pie 
as I ever laid this knife to.  Over six feet in height, 
she measured even more around her waist, owing 
to a dropsy on the one hand, and on the other to 
the presence in her uterus of a constant stream of 
elderly gentlemen engaged in a futile search for 
their headgear. 
Her black and ulcerated titties dropped sweat 
and pus.  They were of enormous size, and stuck 
out impudently in front of her.  Her navel was like 
a rat-pit, and in its corrugations strange insects crawled.  
Her square push beggars description.  Yet I must 
essay it in the interests of your readers, my 
son.  Gaping like the crater of some active volcano, 
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