CONTENTS 
 
 
INTRODUCTON.................................................... 1 
 
THE NAMELESS NOVEL 
 
PROLOGUE. — The Cocksucker’s Crime ;  or, the 
Cunt of the Countess............. 17 
 
CAPIT 1. 
— The Voluptuous Villagers ;  or, 
Vice on the Varm ................... 21 
 
CAPIT 2. 
— Juggling with Joy-jelly ;  or, The 
Ecclesiastic’s Exploit ............. 27 
 
CAPIT 3. 
— The Futile Fuck-stick ;  or, The 
Distiller’s Dilemma ................ 31 
 
CAPIT 4. 
— The Queen’s Quandary ;  or, 
Leaves from the Journal of 
My Life in the Highlands........ 35 
 
CAPIT 5. 
— The King’s Appendix................... 42 
 
CAPIT 6. 
— My Aunt’s Amusement ;  or, 
Aching for Arse-plugs ............ 49 
 
CAPIT 7. 
— The Frigging Photographers ;  or, 
The Secrets of a Sommier ...... 53 
 
CAPIT 8. 
— Tupping a Tombstone ;  or, 
The Corpse and the Cleric...... 56 
 
CAPIT 9. 
— The Birch and the Bottom ;  or, 
A Milliner’s Manners.............. 62