Magick Without Tears

330 MAGICK WITHOUT TEARS I am inclined to make my Silence include all forms of personal work, and this is very hard to give up, if only because I am still afraid of "failure," which is absurd. I ought evidently to be non-attached, even to A void-the- Woes-Attendant-Upon-Refusing-The-Curse- Of-My-Grade, if I may be pardoned the expression. And why should I leave my Efficacious Tortoise and look at people till my lower jaw hangs down? Shall I see what the Yi says? Ay. Question: Shall I abandon all magical work soever until the appearance of a manifest sign? Answer: =-= No Symbol could be more definite == and unambiguous. I have invoked Aiwass to manipulate the Sticks; and, wishing to ask "What shall be the Sign?" got instantly the reference in CCXX to our Lady Babalon: "The Omnipresence of my body . " But this is not quite clear; I took it mentally as referring to the expected arrival of Our Lady, but it might mean a trance, or almost anything. So I will ask Yi, as my last magical act for the time being. I think this means the arrival of Our Lady. I have serious doubts whether the hexagram should not have been: which would certainly have meant that. That I should doubt anything is absurd; I shall know the Sign, without fail. And herewith I close the Record, and await that Sign. The next entry is dated Sunday, February 1. Kindly read over the entry of January 12 with care exceeding. Now then: On Friday, January 30, I went to Paris, to buy pencils, Mandarin, a palette, Napoleon Brandy, canvases, and other appurtenances of the artist's dismal trade. I took occasion to call upon an old mistress of mine, Jane Cheron, concerning whom see The Equinox, Vol. I, "Three Poems." She has never had the slightest interest in occult