Diary of a Drug Fiend

Love under Will 355 my good sense, confirmed by my experience, urged me to surrender. “But how did you find out what your will was?” “How did you find out ?” she flashed back. “Why,” I stammered, ‘ Big Lion showed me how my heredity, my natural inclination, and the solution of my crisis, all pointed to the same thing.” “You said it,”’ she answered softly, and fired another quotation. ‘‘ The Law is for all.” “Tell me about it,” I said. My stupefaction and my annoyance were melting away. I began to perceive dimly that the Big Lion had worked out the whole situation in a masterly fashion. - He had done with his material—us, what I was doing with my material, the laws of mechanics. “‘ I discovered my will four days ago,” she said very seriously. ‘‘ It was the night that you and Big Lion climbed Deep Ghyll and took so long over Professor’s Chimney, that you missed the champagne dinner.” “ Yes, yes,’”’ I said impatiently, ‘‘ and what was it ? ” She put her hands behind her back and bent her head. Her eyelids closed over her long slanting eyes, and her red, snaky mouth began to work tremulously. “While you were asleep after tiffin,” she said, ‘‘ Big Lion took me up to the semicircular seat on the hill above the Strangers’ House, and put me through my paces. He made me tell him all my early life and especially the part just before I met you, when I thought I loved him. And he made me see that all I had done was to try to please myself, and that I had failed. My love for him was only that of a daughter for her father. I looked to him to lead me into life, but nothing meant anything to me till the night I met you. At that moment I began to live. It was you, and not Gretel’s beastly cocaine, that filled my soul with that Litany of Fuller’s. I had chanted it often enough, but it had never touched the spot. That night I used it to get you. I had only lived that I might one day find you. And all my life curled itself, from that moment, round