Diary of a Drug Fiend

At Telepylus 329 habit that had destroyed our love. It was only in sleep that she was beautiful at all in these last months. Waking, the expression of tenseness and wretchedness, the nervous twitching of her face and the destruction of her complexion by the inability of the liver to throw off the toxic effects of the drug, made her look not only twice her age but ugly, with that ugliness of vice and illness which is so much more repulsive than any merely zsthetic errors of nature. Lou, more than any girl I ever knew, depended for her beauty upon her spiritual state. The influence of an idea would transform her in a moment from Venus to Echidna or the reverse. It was deep spiritual satisfaction that made her so lovely this morning. But even as I stood and looked, the horrible restlessness of the heroin craving nearly drove me to take the stuff without my body telling me what it was doing. But I detected the movement in time. I thought a brisk walk might help me to pass through the critical moment. Just as I got out of the house, I was met by Sister Athena. “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law,” she said. It was the regular morning greeting at the Abbey. Accustomed as I was to the phrase, it still took me rather aback. “‘ Good-morning,”’ I said in a rather embarrassed way. ** The answer is ‘ Love is the law, love under will,’ ” she smiled. ‘“‘ We exchange this greeting so as to make sure that the sight of our friends doesn’t distract us from the Great Work. Now we can talk about whatever we like. Oh, no, we can’t, I must first inspect your yesterday’s chart.” I brought it out, and we sat down at the table together. Of course, there was only the one cross, She assumed a very severe look. “This is extremely irregular, brother,” she said. “You haven't filled in column two.” D.D.F. ¥