Diary of a Drug Fiend

At Telepylus 323 really such a revolutionary reversal of what seems obvious. But I’ve been through it myself, and the plain fact is this: finding ourselves here with so much more time on our hands than we ever had in our lives, we get desperate. In a big city, if we're bored, we simply look around for some diversion, and there are plenty of them. But here, there’s no alleviation or the possibility of it. We must either go under completely or decide to swim. Hlere’s another case where the Big Lion, who must certainly be Satan himself, econo- mises time. One has to be very stupid not to discover within forty-eight hours that there is no possibility of amusing oneself in any of the ordinary ways. In London one could waste one’s life before bringing one’s mind to the point where Big Lion wants it. So one finds oneself immediately up against the fact that one has got to find something to do. Well, we go and ask Big Lion; and Big Lion says: ‘Do what thou wilt.’ ‘But, yes,’ we say, ‘what is that?’ He replies rudely, ‘Find out.’ We ask how to find out; and he says, ‘How do you know what is the good of a motor- car?’ Well, we think a bit ; and then we tell him that we find out the use of a motor-car by examining it, looking at its various parts, comparing it and them with similar machines whose use we already know, such as the bullock wagon and the steam engine. We make up our minds that an automobile is constructed in order to travel along the high road. ‘Very good,’ says Big Lion, ‘go up top. Examine yourself, your faculties and tendencies, the trend of your mind, and the aspirations of your soul. Allow me to assure you that you will find this investigation leaves you very little time to wonder what in the devil to do with yourself.’ ‘Thank you very much,’ we say, ‘ but suppose our judgment is wrong, suppose that what we have decided is an automobile intended to go, is in reality a coffin intended to contain a corpse?’ ‘Quite so,’ says Big Lion, ‘ you have to test your judgment ; and you don’t do that by asking the opinion of people who