264 The Diary of a Drug Fiend
It was impossible for either of us to put forth the
slightest effort without the help of the drug. It seemed
logically impossible that we should be able to stop
drugs by our own efforts ; and we knew only too well
from experience that we had got to a state where even
a few moments delay in taking a dose might result in
complete collapse and death.
“T shall leave you children alone for an hour to get |
settled in, and then we might drive down and have
lunch in the country, don’t you think? But of-course
' you'll be needing heroin all the time, and I notice that
you have a plentiful supply, so there’s nothing to worry
about there. It’s not taking the drug that does the
' . harm, it’s the not knowing what you take. SoI brought
you a couple of charts marked off into hours ; and what
I want you to do is to promise to make a cross in the
proper space every time you take it.”
The condition was easy enough. What we had been
dreading, in spite of what Lamus had said, was the
forcible suppression which we had experienced at
Barley Grange, and which had brought us to such
extremities. |
But Lala’s last remark removed all our apprehensions.
The matter was left entirely in our own hands. All
we were asked was to keep a record of what we were
doing. ,
I couldn’t see how the fact of putting a thing down
could make any difference to the act itself.
At that moment King Lamus came in, and kept us
amused for half an hour with a perfectly absurd story
of some trifling adventure that had happened to him
that morning. But despite his vivacity and the interest
which he excited, I found my hands instinctively going
to the little wooden box in which I kept my heroin.
I took a dose. Lamus immediately broke off his
remarks.
“Goon,” I said feebly. ‘“ I didn’t mean to interrupt.”’
“ That’s all right,’ said Lamus. ‘I’m only waiting
for you to put it down.”