The Final Plunge 239
I saw that all feeling, however it might seem to
casual scrutiny, must be of the nature of pain, because
it implied duality and imperfection; and that the
nature of thought of whatever kind, must ultimately
be insanity, because it expresses the relations between
things, and never the things in themselves.
It became evident that the sorrow of the Universe
was caused by the desire of manifestation, and that
death could not do more than suppress one form of
existence in favour of another. Of course, the smpasse
is complete. There seems to be no solution of the
problem. It is a vicious circle.
At the same time, by acquiescence in actuality, the
insane insistence on one’s individual anguish is abated.
Sympathy with universal suffering brings one into a
certain sombre serenity. It does not show us the way
of escape, if such there be, but at least it makes the idea
of escape thinkable. As long as one is trying to get
out of the burning theatre for one’s own sake, the
panic makes concerted action impossible. ‘‘ Every
man for himself and the devil take the hindmost ”’ is
not the kind of order that is likely to secure victory.
It does not even ensure the safety of any one
man.
How quickly I had recovered my own well-being
when I was forced to forget about it !
Peter is still desperately striving to save himself.
“ He that loveth his life shall lose it.” I must dedicate
my miraculously restored faculties to his salvation.
Only I don’t see how to set to work.
If only Basil were here. He would know. He has
worked out the technique. All I can do is to love and
labour blindly. After all, there must have been angels
looking after me in some sense which I don’t pretend
to understand. Why should they not be even more
vigilant on his behalf ?
I am only a foolish flapper not worth throwing into
the waste-paper basket. He is a splendid man with a
glorious past and endless possibilities for the future.