Diary of a Drug Fiend

Cold Turkey 223 Besides, the things he says he sees are all horrible and disgusting. But he says nothing at all now, any more. He begins to speak to me and checks himself... . It is very dark to-night. Rain is falling. Peter has gone down to the lake with his gun. I have taken this book from its hiding place. I am horribly frightened. I had no appetite at lunch, and Peter wouldn’t eat. He burst out in a hysterical appeal to me, reminded me of our love, and said he couldn’t believe it was all a sham. Why had I gone into the plot to drive him to death? He doesn’t eat, because he thinks the food is poisoned ; and when he saw that I wasn’t eating, it convinced him that I was in the plot against him. I tried to tell him this was all nonsense. I told him that I was not in any plot against him. It didn’t set his mind at ease. I had to tell him my great secret that I am the woman clothed with the sun in the Book of Revelations, and that he must protect me. I proved to him that this was the only explanation. The reason why he couldn’t live with me as my husband was that my angel had told me that I was going to bring the Messiah into the world. We went into a heated argument. I don’t remember what happened; but as usual, it turned into a quarrel. One must be concentrated on the spiritual life, so the slightest interruption from the senses, if it’s only the wind in the trees, is a terribly irritating thing. “* Satan is the prince of the power of the air,” it says in the Bible, so he sends these noises in the air to disturb my mind. How can I give birth to the Messiah if I am not caught up’ into the Seventh Heaven, and unconscious of material things? The world, the flesh, and the Devil. One in three and three in one. This evil trinity must be abolished. It knows that ; and that’s why it tries to interrupt me