The Star in the West

148 THE STAR IN THE WEST If we could be optimistic enough to believe in a (semi-)omnipotent power (pure omnipotency is ana chronistic ), we should believe this malady were in flicted on man as are the measles , the croup , and the chicken -pox , so as to stimulate romance , and retard that ultimate uninteresting state perfection. This not being so , we can only suggest that being descended from the flat - nosed simiae , besides being generally flat all round , man must have lost his wits with his tail , both being now exceedingly rudimentary . Having lost his tail , he could no longer swing in the ethereal blue ; and then , losing his wits , grew a mental tail , and swung in the deep inane , devising the ideal of discomfort , wherein all pleasures should be considered as evil , and all pains as exceedingly good ; chewing aloes he swore they were as melligenous as the sugar cane , called black white , white black , and this fair world the abode of his satanic majesty ; beat his wife , swore at the ' kids , and kicked the cat over the garden wall . Not being able to walk on his head , with his feet in the air , he , however , did and continues to do his best to carry what remains of his fungoid organ of thought as low as he possibly can , his desires in his stomach , and his thoughts in the vicinity of his prostate gland . There was a time when man did not know how to cook his dinner ; we sincerely hope there will be a time when he ceases to cook his thoughts , but that time , in spite of science and art , is in the far here after . Some people labour under the idea that a genera tion or two hence the world will be sprawling at the feet of Reason instead of those of God . Possibly , yet God is still far from being a centenarian , and our