1909 · CLOSE READING
The Equinox (Volume I, Number II)
The Equinox (Volume I, Number II) (1909), PDF p. 372
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THE EQUINOX
of this incoherent anticipation of the rest of my story. I
should raise no sympathy in your heart by whimpering over
myself. It is true that I am inclined to run riot in self-lamen-
tations ; but great men always are. And I shall try henceforth
not to give way to that unwholesome tendency. I have much
already to be forgiven.
In my cage, then, to resume, I was just passing from a
state of dreadful mental agony to a more settled and hopeful
disposition. For the second time the man-who-had-lost-his-
cover left me alone; and I felt more relieved. He will never
dare, thought I; and, after all, he does not look such a cold-
blooded murderer. His eyes indicate some sort of inner life
and his tone and voice are gentle at times. It is a joke, a
mystification. . . . It must be.
Thus I tried to deceive myself, and I must admit that I
utterly failed. Looking, then, around my prison, I began to
feel a very peculiar sort of numbness coming over me. It was
almost like intoxication, and I am not in the least ashamed to
say that I know what intoxication is. Iwas drowsy; my head
seemed to weigh as heavy as if it contained lead in place of the
keenest brains. The coffin appeared to mea most comfortable
bedstead, and the skull a soft pillow. A horrible attraction
bent me towards the box, and in a moment I lay, stiff, snoring,
over the eight compartments.
There is here a blank in my memory. Under the influence
of a powerful narcotic, I was cut out and planed to fit the
coffin exactly. About that time my tormentors must have been
interrupted, for they forgot to nail me on the coffin, and the
cage was hurriedly put on a motor and carried somewhere on
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