Moonchild

"And now, Mr. Butcher," said Douglas, "I will ask you in your turn to render me a small service." "Bat it up!" said Mr. Butcher. "I would buy an Illustrated Edition of O. Henry in nineteen parts." Douglas did not know that Americans dread book agents more than rattlesnakes; but he gathered [242] that his guest would acquiesce in any reasonable suggestion. "I am informed that you are — or were — a Priest of the Roman Church. "Peter is my middle name," admitted the 'Rosicrucian,' "and that's no jolly." "But — apart from questions of nomenclature for the moment, if you will pardon me — you are a priest of the Roman Church?" "Yep: I took a chance on Pop Dago Benedict. But it's a con game; I'm from Missouri. Four-flushing gold brick merchants! Believe me, some bull! I took it like playing three days in Bumville. Them boobs got my goat for fair, babe. No pipe!" "You were interdicted in consequence of some scandal?" "I ran a sporting house on the side, and I guess they endorsed my license for speeding." "Your Bishop took umbrage at some business activity which he judged incompatible with your vows?" "Like Kelly did." "Oh, Bishop Kelly. Far too severe a disciplinarian, in my judgment. But you are still a priest? Your orders are still valid? A baptism or a marriage performed by you would hold good?" "It's a cinch. The Hallelujah Guarantee and Trust Company, St. Paul. Offices in the James D. Athanasius Building." "Then, sir, I shall ask of you the favour to hold yourself in readiness to baptize two persons at nine of the evening precisely, the day after to-morrow. That ceremony will be followed by another, in which you will marry them." "I swan." "I may rely on your good offices?" "I'll come in a wheelbarrow." [243] "Suit yourself, Mr. Butcher, as to the mode of transit; but pray be careful to attend punctually, and in canonical costume." "I'll dig the biretta out of the ice-box." After a further exchange of courtesies the new disciple took his leave.