1929 · CLOSE READING
Moonchild
Moonchild (1929), PDF p. 171
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a favour, but I see a dollar at the end of it, and old Doc. Butcher buys a one-
way ticket."
Douglas grew portentous. "Are you aware of what you ask?" he thundered.
"Do you understand that the ineffable and Sacrosanct Arcanum is not to be
touched by profane hands? Must I inform you that Those who may not be
named are even now at the Gate of the Abyss, whetting their fangs upon the
Cubical Stone of the Unutterable? Oh ye magistral ministrants of the Shrine
of the Unspeakable Abomination! Hear ye the Word of Blasphemy!" He
spoke rapidly and thickly in a tongue unknown to Butcher, who became
alarmed, and even took his legs off the table.
"Say!" he cried. "Have a heart! Can the rough dope, Count! This is a
straight proposition, honest to God!"
"I am already aware of your sincerity," answered the other. "But infinite
courage is required to confront those formidable Entities that lie in wait for
the seeker even at the first Portal of the Descending Staircase!"
"Oh, I'm wise to Old Dog Cerberus. Ish [241] Kabibble. Gimme an upper
berth in the Chicawgo, Saint Lewis, and Hell Limited, if it busts the roll. Do
you get me, Steve?"
"I understand you to say that you persist in your application."
"Sure. Andrew P. Satan for mine."
"I shall be pleased to place your name before the Watchers of the Gate."
"How deep do I have to dig?"
"Dig? I did not quite catch your remark."
"In the wad. Weigh the dough! What does it set me back? Me for the
bread-line?"
"The initiation fee is one thousand francs."
"I guess I can skin that off without having to eat at Childs."
"You will remit the amount to the Comptroller of my Privy Purse. Here is
the address. Now be so good as to sign the preliminary application-form."
They went over to the bureau (Douglas was prepared to derive it from the
library of Louis XIV), on which lay a private letter from the Kaiser, if one
might believe the embossed arms and address, and a note asking President
Poincare to dinner, "quite informally, my dear friend," which Butcher could
not fail to see. The preliminary application form was a document which
might have served for an exceptionally solemn treaty. But Douglas was
above the charlatanism of requiring a signature in blood: Butcher signed it
with an ordinary fountain pen.
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