After tea — another ordeal of small-talk — she had made up her mind. Or,
more accurately, she had become conscious of herself. She knew that she
belonged to this man, body and soul. Every trace of shame departed; it was
burnt out by the fire that consumed her. She gave him a thousand
opportunities; she fought to turn his words to serious things. He baffled her
with his shallow smile and ready tongue, that twisted all topics to triviality.
By six o'clock she was morally on her knees before him; she was imploring
him to stay to dinner with her. He refused. He was engaged' to dine with a
[17] Miss Badger in Cheyne Walk; possibly he might telephone later, if he
got away early. She begged him to excuse himself; he answered — serious
for the first time — that he never broke his word.
At last he rose to go. She clung to him. He pretended mere embarrassment.
She became a tigress; he pretended innocence, with that silly shallow smile.
He looked at his watch. Suddenly his manner changed, like a flash. "I'll
telephone later, if I can," he said, with a sort of silky ferocity, and flung her
from him violently on to the sofa.
He was gone. She lay upon the cushions, and sobbed her heart out.
The whole evening was a nightmare for her — and also for Lavinia King.
The pianist, who had looked in with the idea of dinner, was thrown out with
objurgations. Why had he brought that cad, that brute, that fool? Amy Brough
was caught by her fat wrists, and sat down to the cards; but the first time that
she said "large building," was bundled bodily out of the apartment. Finally,
Lavinia was astounded to have Lisa tell her that she would not come to see
her dance — her only appearance that season in London! It was incredible.
But when she had gone, thoroughly huffed, Lisa threw on her wraps to follow
her; then changed her mind before she had gone half way down the corridor.
Her evening was a tempest of indecisions. When Big Ben sounded eleven she
was lying on the floor, collapsed. A moment later the telephone rang. It was
Cyril Grey — of course — of course — how could it be any other?
"When are you likely to be in?" he was asking. She could imagine the faint
hateful smile, as if she had known it all her life." Never!" she answered, [18]