The Scented Garden

124 Devotion better than learning. filth. Prejudiced as I am in favour of the Unfair Sex, I cannot but see this. Like Balaam, I am con- strained. But if anyone wishes to argue with me, I may point out that — it happened before. A. L. Irrumation, with either sex, is perhaps the most popular of all the sex-perversions — or sex-refinements ? — in the West. A well-known English peeress of American origin has kindly favoured me with a classified list of the principal methods employed by the patient. It will be seen that they easily surpass the crude expe- dients of the Kama Soutra. 1. The Spider’s Legs. Tickle the penis with fingers, lips, tongue, and eyelashes. 2. The Fire-drill. With flat palms rub the penis vigorously in a di- rection perpendicular to its axis. The tip of the pe- nis is held firmly in the mouth. 3. The Mouse-trap. Nibble and kiss the penis all over, like a mouse at a piece of cheese. Suddenly nip hard on to it and finish, like the closing of the trap. 4. Les affaires sont les affaires. Swallow the penis whole, rocking the head fu- riously backwards and forwards. 5. The Woodpecker. Bite sharply with teeth upon the penis. 6. The Limpet (or Barnacle). Suck the gland hard, so as to create a vacuum (this is a rude cupping process, causes the blood to flow strongly to the part and so is almost unfailing as a means of producing erection). 7. The Oyster Supper. Spit on the penis and catch the “ oysters ” until they replaced by the “ pearls.” 8. The Green Corn. Suck at the penis as you do to eat green corn (i.e. all down the shaft).