The Equinox (Volume I, Number IV)

MY LADY OF THE BREECHES and Lionel allowed himself to be conquered. Gradually, as the relations between them grew with the force of habit, his disgust increased, while his condescension plunged him deeper into the pit. He longed to tear himself away, and gradually discovered that she had become a necessity to him. He lost pleasure in himself and found none in her; finally he played an old trick and caused a telegram to be sent, calling him away. He swore to return speedily—which he didn’t. He sailed back to Europe, found himself in London, where his first experience caused him to waver between eagerness and self-consciousness. At that time, he met with the adven- ture which I related. A young widow horse-whipped him. Lionel was still very far from his salvation. IX THE HERMIT HE went to seek it in the wilderness. A cottage green as a lizard, surrounded by flowers and trees, well furnished, well kept by a couple of servants, male and female, such was the chosen retreat. It proved very comfortable—and lonely. He pursued his education, often troubled by horrid visions, when he saw himself the centre of a stage where men and women crowded above, around, and beneath him. They re- minded him of the terrible prediction of the French poet, who showed the two sexes dying away, irrevocably parted, La femme ayant Gomorrhe et l’homme ayant Sodome.* All the Messalines and Circes of an impure sex were * Alfred de Vigny: “Colére de Samson.” IV c 33