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1909 · CLOSE READING

The Equinox (Volume I, Number I)

The Equinox (Volume I, Number I) (1909), PDF p. 135

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THE DREAM CIRCEAN other through my brain, bewildering it, leading the will to falter, the steps to halt. “ Beneath, keener anguish than the thrust of a poisoned rapier, stabbed me this poignant pang: my love awaits me, waits for me to save her, to fly with her. . . “Where was she? “It was broad day; I cleansed myself of the marks of battle, sat down and broke my fast, my sane mind steadily forcing itself to a sober plan of action, beating manfully down the scream of its despair. All day I searched the streets. Passing an antiquary, I showed him my weapons. He readily supplied their history; but—there was none of that family alive, nor had been since the great Revolution. Their goods? The four winds of heaven might know. At those words ‘the four winds’ I rushed out of the shop, as if stung by an adder. “T drove home, set all my servants hunting for railed houses. They were to report to me in the Rue des Quatre Vents. Any house not accounted for, any that might conceal a mystery, these I would see myself. “ All labour lost! My servants tried. I distrusted their energy : I set myself obstinately to scour Paris. “There is a rule of mathematics which enables one to traverse completely any labyrinth. I applied this to the city. I walked in every road of it, marking the streets at each corner as I passed with my private seal. Each railed house I investigated separately and thoroughly. By virtue of my position I was welcome everywhere. But every night I paced the Rue des Quatre Vents, awaiting . . . “ Awaiting what? Well, in the end, perhaps death. The children gibed at me; passers-by shunned me. 125
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