Confessions of Aleister Crowley

327 ....Anointed, fill with frenzied Fire! I pray Thee keep the holy tryst Within this ring of Amethyst. {531} I eat my flesh: I drink my blood: ....I gird my loins: I journey far: For Thou hast shown the Rose, the Rood, ....The Eye, the Sword, the Silver Star. I pray thee keep the holy tryst Within this ring of Amethyst. Prostrate I wait upon thy will, ....Mine Angel, for this grace of union. O let this Sacrament distil ....Thy conversation and communion. I pray Thee keep the holy tryst Within this ring of Amethyst. I intended to use this Invocation in practice. The amethyst was to be, so to speak, the lens through which the Holy Guardian Angel should manifest. On September 17th I went to Ashdown Park Hotel, Coulsdon, Surrey and recovered my health suddenly and completely. On the twenty-first I had completed thirty-two weeks of the Operation and thirty-one weeks of actual daily invocation. The next day D.D.S. came to see me: we celebrated the Autumnal Equinox and reconstructed the old Neophyte Ritual of the G.'. D.'., eliminating all unnecessary features and quintessentializing the magical formulae. On the ninth, having prepared a full invocation and ritual, I performed it. I had no expectation, I think, of attaining any special success; but it came. I had performed the Operation of the Sacred Magick of Abra-Melin the Mage. It is unlawful to speak of the supreme sacrament. It was such, as the following entry shows, that I found it hard to believe that I had been permitted to partake of it. I will confine myself to the description of some of the ancillary phenomena. Oct. 9 Tested new ritual and behold it was very good! Thanked gods and sacrificed for --- In the "thanksgiving and sacrifices for ... " I did get rid of everything but the Holy Exalted One, and must have held Him for a minute or two. I did. I am sure I did. Such is the fragmentary account1 of what was then the greatest event of Fra. P.'s career. Yet this is an account of the highest trances --- of Shivadarshana itself, as we know from other sources. The "vision" (to use still the name become totally inadequate) appears to have had three main points in its Atmadarshana stage --- 1. The Universal Peacock. {532} 1. Captain Fuller's. 2. The Universe as Ego. "I who am all and made it all, abide its separate lord," i.e. the universe becomes a single and simple being, without quantity, quality or conditions. In this the "I" is immanent, yet the "I" made it, and the "I" is entirely apart from it. (This is the Christian doctrine of the Trinity, or something very like it.)