11
purely symbolic. But there is also the feeling that the fact of death destroys all possible interest; 
the disaster is 
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1. i.e. sit at the communion table.  
2. What a name!  
3. With one notable exception, at which he officiated.  
irreparable, it should be forgotten as soon as possible. He would not even join the search party 
after the Kangchenjunga accident. What object was there in digging frozen corpses from under an 
avalanche? Dead bodies themselves do not repel him; he is as interested in dissecting rooms as in 
anything else. When he met the dead body of Consul Litton, he turned back, knowing the man was 
dead. But when the corpse was brought to Tengyueh, he assisted unflinchingly at the inquiry, 
because in this instance there was an object in ascertaining the cause of death. 
One other group of incidents of early childhood. The family went to the west of England for the 
summer. Alick remembers Monmouth, or rather Monmouth Castle. It is curious that, in the act of 
remembering this for the purpose of this book, he was obsessed by the idea that there could not be 
such a place as Monmouth; the name seemed fantastic. It was confused in his mind with "Monster" 
and "Mammoth", and it was some hours before he could convince himself of its reality. He 
remembers staying in a farm some distance from the road and has a very vague impression of 
becoming acquainted with such animals as ducks and pigs. Much more clearly arises the vision of 
himself on a pony with people walking each side. He remembers falling off, starting to yell and 
being carried up to the house by the frightened governess (or whoever it was) in charge of him. This 
event had a tragic result. He ought to have been put back on the pony and made to conquer his 
fears. As it was, he has never been able to feel at home on horseback, though he has ridden 
thousands of miles, many of them over really dangerous country. 
On the other hand --- subconscious memory of previous incarnations, or the Eastern soul of him, or 
the fact that he took to it after he had learned the foolishness of fear? --- he was from the first 
perfectly at home on a camel. And this despite the fact that these animals act like highly placed 
officials and even --- if scabby -- like consuls, and look (when old) like English ladies engaged in 
good works. (There is much of the vulture in the type of head.) 
One incident connected with this journey is of extraordinary interest as throwing a light on future 
events. Walking with his father in a field, whose general aspect he remembers perfectly well to this 
day, his attention was called to a clump of nettles and he was warned that they would sting if he 
touched them. He does not remember what he answered, but whatever it was it elicited from his 
father the question, "Will you take my word for it or would your rather learn by experience?" He 
replied, "I would rather learn by experience," and plunged head foremost into the clump. 
This summer was marked by two narrow escapes. He remembers being seated beside the driver of 
some carriage with what seemed to him an extraordinarily tall box, though this impression may 
mean merely that he was a very small boy. It was going down hill on a road that curved across a 
steep slope of very green grass. He remembers the grinding of the brakes. Suddenly 
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his father jumped out of the carriage and cried to the driver that a wheel was coming off. The only 
trace which this left in later life is that he has always disliked riding in unusual vehicles unless 
himself in control. He became a reckless cyclist and motorist, but he was nervous for a long while 
with automobiles unless at the wheel. 
The last event of this period occurred at a railway station. He remembers its general appearance 
and that of the little family group. A porter, staggering under a heavy trunk, slid it suddenly off his 
back. It missed crushing the boy by a hair's breadth. He does not remember whether he was 
snatched away, or anything else, except his father's exclamation, "His guardian angel was watching