Confessions of Aleister Crowley

101 who follow this interest. Crowley's doctor prescribed heroin at a time in the 'teens when it was thought to be non-addictive! Crowley experienced the terrors of withdrawal, recounted in his "Liber XCIII", and ultimately died of respiratory infection in 1947, fifty years after the events described here. {180} Allan Bennett was tall, but his sickness had already produced a stoop. His head, crowned with a shock of wild black hair, was intensely noble; the brows, both wide and lofty, overhung indomitable piercing eyes. The face would have been handsome had it not been for the haggardness and pallour due to his almost continuous suffering. Despite his ill-health, he was a tremendous worker. His knowledge of science, especially electricity, was vast, accurate and profound. In addition, he had studied the Hindu and Buddhist scriptures, not only as a scholar, but with the insight that comes from inborn sympathetic understanding. I did not fully realize the colossal stature of that sacred spirit; but I was instantly aware that this man could teach me more in a month than anyone else in five years. He was living in great discomfort and penury. I offered him the hospitality of my flat. I have always felt that since the occult sciences nourish so many charlatans, it should be one's prime point of honour not to make money in any way connected with them1. The amateur status above all! Hospitality is, however, always allowable. But I was careful never to go beyond the strict letter of the word. Iehi Aour came to stay with me and under his tuition I made rapid progress. He showed me where to get knowledge, how to criticize it and how to apply it. We also worked together at ceremonial Magick; evoking spirits, consecrating talismans, and so on. I must relate one episode, as throwing light upon my magical accomplishments and my ethical standards. Jones and I had come to the conclusion that Allan would die unless he went to live in a warmer climate. However, he was penniless and we would not finance him for the reasons given above. Instead, Jones and I evoked to visible appearance the spirit Buer, of The Goetia, whose function is to heal the sick. We were partially successful; a helmeted head and the left leg being distinctly solid, though the rest of the figure was cloudy and vague. But the operation was in fact a success in the following manner. It is instructive to narrate this as showing the indirect and natural means by which the will attains its object. I am constrained to a seeming digression. Many authors insist on the importance of absolute chastity in the aspirant. For some months I had been disregarding this injunction with a seductive siren whose husband was a colonel in India. Little by little I overcame my passion for her and we parted. She wrote to me frequently and tried to shake my resolution, but I stood firm. Shortly after the evocation of Buer, she wrote, begging me to call at her hotel. I cannot remember how it came into my mind to to what I did, but I went to see her. She begged me to come back to her and offered to do anything I wanted. I said to her, "You're making a mess of your life by your selfishness. I will give you a chance to do an absolutely unfettered act. Give me a hundred pounds, I won't tell you whom it's for, except that it's {181} 1. WEH Note: Notwithstanding this and a more extreme diatribe against "Black Magic" in his "Magick in Theory and Practice", Crowley did accept remuneration for doing Astrological charts at a later period than this writing. In other instances he did dedicate his income from mystical and magical writings to the support of his O.T.O. and not his personal needs. not for myself. I have private reasons for not using my own money in this matter. If you give me this, it must be without hoping or expecting anything in return." She gave me the money --- it paid Allan's passage to Ceylon and saved to humanity one of the most valuable lives of our generation.