John St. John

4.15. 4.40. JOHN STi JOHN accurate! I wrote it and never saw the hellish snarel I ought to have risen up and prepared myself cere- monially as a bride, and waited in the proper magical manner. Also I was too pleased with the Heralds of my Lord’s coming—the vision of Khephra, etc. It was perhaps this subtle self-satisfaction that lost me . . . so I fell to the shocking abyss of last night! The Dweller of the Threshold is never visible until after one has fallen; he is a Veiled God and smites like the Evil Knight in Malory, riding and slaying—and no man seeth him. But when you are tumbled headlong into Hell, where he lives, then he unveils his Face, and blasts you with its horror! Very good, John St. John, now you knowl You are plain John St. John, and you have to climb right up again through the paths to the Threshold; and remember this time to mortify that self-satisfaction! G0 at it more reverently and humbly—oh, you dog, how I loathe you for your Vileness! To have risen so high, and—now—to be thus fallen ! The question arises: how to mortify this self-satisfac- tion? Asceticism notoriously fosters egoism ; how good am I to go without dinner] How noble I What renuncia- tionl On the other hand, the good wine in one says: “A fine fellow I have made my coffin of! " The answer is simple, the old answer: Thin/.9710! of 93