John St. John

־11.15 11.37. 88 THE EQUINOX that it is so lucid and spiritual and yet so practical. When I say weakness, I mean that it appeals to my weakness ; I am easily content with thesmaller results, so that they seduce me from going on to the really big ones. I am quite happy as a result of my little ceremony—— whereas I ought to be taking new and terrible oaths! Yet why should Tahuti be so kind to me, and Asar Un-nefer so unkind ? The answer comes direct from Tahuti himself : Because you have learned to write perfectly, but have not yet taught yourself to suffer. True enough, the last part! Asar Un-nefer, thou perfected One, teach me Thy mysteries! Let my members be torn by Set and devoured by Sebek and Typhonl Let my blood be poured out upon Nile, and my flesh be given to Besz to devour! Let my Phallus be concealed in the maw of Mati, and my Crown be divided among my brethren ! Let the jaws of Apep grind me into poison ! Let the sea of poison swallow me wholly up I Let Asi my mother rend her robes in anguish, and Nepti weep for me unavailing. Then shall Asi bring forth Hoor, and Heru-pa—kraat shall leap glad from her womb. The Lord of Ven- geance shall awaken; Sekhet shall roar, and Pasht cry aloud. Then shall my members be gathered together, and my bonds shall be unloosed; and my khu shall be mighty in Khem for ever and ever! I return to the place of the Evil Triad, of Ommo Satan, that is before the altarr There to expiate my folly in