John St. John

JOHN ST. JOHN 11.35. I will now break my fast with a sandwich and coffee, eaten Yogin-wise. I seem like one convalescent after a fever; very calm, very clean, rather weak, too weak, indeed, to be actually happy: but content. I spent the morning posing for Michael Brenner, a sculptor who will one day be heard of. Very young yet, but I think the best man of his generation—of those whose work I have seen. By the way, I am suffering from a swollen finger, since yesterday morning or possibly earlier‘ I have given it little attention, but it is painful. I want to explain why I have so carefully recorded the somewhat banal details of all I have eaten and drunk. I. All food is a species of intoxicant; hence a fruitful source of error. Should I obtain any good result, Limight say “ You were starved " or “You were drunk." It is very easy to get visions of sorts by either process, and to delude oneself into the idea that one has attained, mistaking the Qliphoth for Kether. 2. In keeping the vow “I will interpret every phenomenon as aparticular dealing of God with my soul " the mere animal actions are the most resistant. One cannot see the nature of the phenomenon; it seems so un- important; one is inclined to despise it. Hence I enter it in the record as a correc- tive. 79