John St. John

3-35- 3.50. 5-45- 7. I 5. 9.45. 78 THE EQUINOX the other cases I recognise my own ardour as the cause. It is very gentle and sweet. So now I may turn back to wait for Him. The Voice of the Nadi has changed to a music faint yet very full and very sweet, with a bell—like tone more insistent than the other notes at intervals Again awake, and patient-eager. The dreams flow through me ceaselessly. This time a house where Ι, like a new Bluebeard, have got to conceal my wives from each other. But my foolish omission to knife them brings it about that I have thirty—nine secret chambers, and only one open one in each case. Oh, yards of it! And all sorts of people come in to supper—which there isn’t any, and we have to do all sorts of shifts—and all the wives think themselves neglected-as they are bound to do, if one is insane enough to have forty—and I loathed them all so! it was terrible having to fly round and comfort and explain; the difficulty increases (I should judge) as about the fifth power of the number of wives . . . I'm glad I’m awake! Yea, and how glad when I am indeed awake from this glamour life, awake to the love of my Lord Adonai ! It is bitter chill at dawn. Aconsecrating cold it seems to me—yet I will not confront it and rejoice in it— I am already content, having ceased to strive. Again awake, deliciously rested and refreshed. Again awake, ditto.