John St. John

7.20. 7.40. JOHN ST. JOHN likely have broken up the Apophis—kingdom of yester— day in a moment, and the truth of it would have been 5 per cent.drug and95per cent.magic ; but nobodywould have believed me. Remember that this record is for the British Public, “ who may like me yet.” God forbid! for I cannot echo Browning’s hope. Their greasiness, hypocrisy, and meanness are such that their appreciation could only mean my vileness, not their redemption. Sorry if I seem pessimistic about them! A nasty one for me, by the way, if they suddenly started buying me ! I should have, in mere consistency, to cut my throat! Calm yourself, my friend! There is no danger. At home again and robed. Am both tired and oppressed, even in my peace ; for the day has been, and the evening is, close and hot, with a little fog; and, one may suspect, the air is overcharged with electricity. I will rest quietly with my mantra as Hanged Man, and perhaps sleep for a little. . No sleep—no rest for the wicked! ’Tis curious how totally independent is mantra-yoga of reverie. I can say my mantra vigorously while my thought wanders all over the world; yetI cannot write the simplest sentence without stopping it, unless with a very great effort, and then it is not satisfactory to either party! Meditation—~of the " rational ” sort—on this leads me to suggestthat active “ radiant" thought may be incom— patible with the mantra, itself being (Ρ) active. One can 45