John St. John

8.0. 8.15. JOHN ST. JOHN Accordingly, I continue in gentle and easy meditation on my Lord Adonai, without fear or violence, quite directly and naturally. One of the matters that came up last night with Dr. R d was that of writing rubbish for magazines. He thought that one could do it in the intervals of serious work ; but I do not think that one should take the risk. I have spent these many years training my mind to think cleanly and express beautifully. Am I to prosti- tute myself for a handful of bread? I swear by Thyself, 0 Thou who art myself, that I will not write save to glorify Thee, that I will write only in beauty and melody, that I will give unto the world as Thou givest unto me, whether it be a consuming fire, or a cup of the wine of Iacchus, or a glittering dagger, or a disk brighter than the sun. I will starve in the street before I pander to the vileness of the men among Whom I live—0h my Lord Adonai, be with me, give me the purest poesy, keep me to this vow! And if I turn aside, even for a moment, I pray Thee, warn me by some signal chastisement, that Thou art a jealous god, and that Thou wilt keep me veiled, cherished, guarded in Thine harem a pure and perfect spouse, like a slender fountain playing in Thy courts of marble and of malachite, of jasper, of topaz, and of lapis lazuli. And by my magick power I summon all the inhabitants of the ten thousand worlds to Witness this mine oath. Iwill rise, and break my fast. I think it as well to go on with the mantra, as it started of its own accord. 35