1909 · CLOSE READING
John St. John
John St. John (1909), PDF p. 33
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6.55.
7.5.
7-35-
JOHN ST. JOHN
I shall now ceremonially defile the Beyt Allah with Fig,
to express in some small measure my utter disgust and
indignation with Allah for not doing Hisjob properly. I
say in vain “ Labbaik! ” [I am here—En] He answers,
“ But I ’m not here, old boy—another leg-pull ! ”
He
little knows His man, though, if He thinks He can
insult me with impunity.
Andre, un sandwich l
[Beyt Allah, the Mosque at Mecca, means " House of
God ”—ED.]
I shall stop mantra while I eat, so as to concentrate
(a) on the chewing, (b) on defiling the House of God.
Not so easy! the damned thing runs on like a prairie
fire.
Important then to stop it absolutely at will : even
the Work itself may become an obsession.
I 1 hours with no real break—not bad.
The bad part of to-day seems the Asana, and the
deadness. Or, perhaps worse, I fail to apprehend the true
magical purport of my work: hence all sort of aimless
formulae, leading—naturallyenough—to no result.
It just strikes me—it may be this Isis Apophis Osiris
IAO formula that I have preached so often.
Certainly
the first two days were Isis—natural, pleasant, easy
events.
Most certainly too to-day has been Apophis!
Think of the wild cursing and black magic, etc.
.
.
.
we must hope for the Osiris section to-morrow or
next day.
Birth, death, resurrection!
IAOI
The Sandwich duly chewed, and two Coffees drunk,
I resume the mystic Mantra.
Why?
Because I dam
well choose to.
31
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