John St. John

10.27. 1 I .47. 12.19. 1 2.33. JOHN ST. JOHN Let it! I’m going on. The first power to return is the power to suffer. The shame of itl The torture of it! I slept in patches as a man sleeps that is deadly ill. I am only afraid of failing to wake for the End of the day. God! what a day! . . . I dare not trust my will to keep me awake; so I rise, wash, and will walk about till time to get into my Asana. Thirst! Oh how I thirst! I had not thought that there could be such suffering. The Eleventh Day It seems a poor thing to be proud of, merely to be awake. Yet I was flushed with triumph as a boy that wins his first race. The powers of Asana and Pranayama return. I did 21 Breath-cycles without fatigue. Energy returns, and Keenness to pursue the Path—all fruits of that one little victory over sleep. How delicate are these powers, so simple as they seem ! Let me be very humble, now and for ever more ! Surely at least that lesson has been burnt into me. And how gladly I would give all these powers for the One Power ! Another smart attack of diarrhoea. I take 4 gr. Plumb. c. Opio and alter my determination to stay out of bed all night, as chill is doubtless the chief cause. . . . It is really extraordinaryhow the smallest success 123