1911 · CLOSE READING
The Equinox (Volume I, Number VI)
The Equinox (Volume I, Number VI) (1911), PDF p. 140
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THE EQUINOX
" And I am gleeful because Iam reason.
.
.
.
" All reason ends in two.
I have cut the Master in two.”
“ Can she pass through?" wondered Edgar.
" Is it a fault
to be identified so well with that which she beholds?”
“There are devils," she cried.
“ Black, naked, screaming
devils.
They touch, and at a touch each oozes back to his
slirne.
This slime is Chaos."
“ Ararita! ” he breathed the word upon her brow.
" Don‘t touch me! don’t touch mel " she screamed. “I
am holy! I am God!
I am I!”
Her face was black and
distorted with sudden passion.
“ It‘s quite different to my own experience in many ways,”
thought the watcher.
”Yet—is it not the essence of all
ordeal, all initiation, that it should be unexpected?
Other-
wise, the candidate would have passed through the gate before
he approached it.
Which is absurd."
The last word must have been audible.
“Absurd!” she cried.
“Indeed, it is not absurd.
It is
all rational.
It is you who are absurd.”
“ Do you understand what you are saying?"
" No! No!
I hate all who understand.
I will bite them.
I will bite their waists."
Dropping her
voice suddenly:
“ That was when I was a mouse-trap."
“ Dear God
1 this is like delirium."
" Oh! go on about God.
I don’t mind God.
I could tell
you wonderful things about what I have done to God.
I was
a Nonconformist preacher once: I had secret sins.
They
were mine!
Mine!
How proud
I was of them!
Every
Sunday I used to preach against the sin that I had done
most in the week.
There are many butterflies in the desert ;
132
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