The Equinox (Volume III, Number I)

A MASTER OF THE TEMPLE my body and mind, but realize how much is needed be- fore... Oxo. Peace unto all beings. Amen.” Section IV. ApRIL 30TH, IQII, TO OcrToBER 13TH, I912 Frater V.I.O. next experienced a state of “Dryness” such as almost invariably follows a partial success. On Sunday May 7th he writes: I have not made an entry in this record for a whole week. I seem to be losing control, and my diary, lying untouched in my drawer, is becoming like a horrible fiend. It worries me when I do not enter it; and yet it requires a great effort even to touch it or take it out, while to enter it daily appears an almost superhuman task. Why is this? I have done exercises this week as usual, but a little earlier than previously, because I have to be at the office by 8.30 A.M. instead of nine o’c. as heretofore. I think Fra. P.A. might write to me. I feel that he is testing me, and have tried to hold to that idea. I know that really it does not matter, but I am weak yet, and should so like a little friendly push and a few words of advice. I feel like dropping it all for a time; but that is perhaps the very thing that is so difficult, in fact, the whole trick! O dear, I am certainly having a spell of ‘dryness.’ But I will plod on, On, ON, and in, In, IN. O for one kiss, or the echo of a Kiss, My Lord Adonai. I yearn for Thee, I am Parched for Thee. Let me be utterly consumed in Thee! Amen. Saturday, June 10, 1911. Tonight I must write an entry. I MUST. And it is time. Why have I not done so before? Because I have experienced a ‘dryness’ for the last month, and have made no definite effort to overcome it, but have just kept a firm hold on the little atom of real Knowledge I have obtained, & setting my face still towards the East, have plodded on with this material ex- istence and the office work I have undertaken. I have experienced an incessant yearning for that “Something” or “Nothing” of which a glimpse had been vouch- safed unto me, and Waited. Maybe'I should have Worked and waited, but I did not. I have not heard from Frater P.A. yet, but I wrote again during the month, saying I wanted to do something to help others a little, and asking if he could spare time to advise me on that score. To-day, I received Tue Equinox ordered last April. It had been sent to my brother’s Club and had been lying there for a month, and all the while I had been waiting and hoping for its arrival. Then, when hope was about dead, I obtained a trace of it. It came as a drink 149